Hear what the Poles did with all their gold medals?
Went home and got them bronzed.
Loading Dock:
Two Blondes were walking down the street….
Two Blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on
the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the
mirror and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.”
The second Blonde said, “Let me look!”
The first Blonde handed her the compact. The second Blonde looked in
the mirror and said, “You dumb shit, it’s me!”
Beandip
Yo mama so ugly…
Diff Between Gender Dreams
In a surprise interview, Monica was asked…
The Top 16 Signs a Spaceship Is Homemade
16> Twenty percent more duct tape than Mir.15> It’s highly unlikely NASA would name its orbital lander the “USS PACKERS! Wooo! Go Packers!”14> You currently owe Duracell $138,845,000.13> Two words: cheese tailfins.12> Take-off requires beans, a butane lighter and a well-timed finger pull.11> Thrusters can be set to high, medium, low and simmer.10> Doilies on the control board? Potpourri in the cargo bay? MOM!!!9> The on-board meal: a lovingly packed PB&J cut in the shape of a rocket, a Juicy Juice box and a Twinkie that your jerk older brother smashed flat.8> “Rocket sound” comes from playing cards stuck in the O-rings.7> The chief engineer was forced to remove the nose cone of the lunar landing module to grill burgers for dinner.6> Centrifugal force is measured in “Kenny Gs.”5> It just plain tastes better than those store-bought spaceships.4> The only ‘tang on board is the pilot’s mistress.3> The “heat shield”? A dozen oven mitts glued to a trash-can lid.2> The top-secret mission? Launch a spy satellite over Jessica Simpson’s shower.1> Transmission from Apollo 13: “Houston, we have a problem.”Transmission from your ship: “Honey, I have a wedgie.” [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]