Purpee Jokes

One evening Saddam decides to visit his most intelligent wife, opens the bedroom door, and finds her studying.

“Ah,” he says, “she must be studying for that history exam.”

So he strolls through the palace to the bedroom of the wife who is the best cook, opens the door, and sees her plucking this large bird.

“In the name of Allah, get the kitchen staff to do that for you next time!”

He then decides to go to the wife who is the best lover, opens her bedroom door, and is shocked to see instead 2 camels screwing.

Furious, Saddam confronts the palace harem manager. “What is the meaning of this?” he shouts at the manager.

The manager replies, “Don’t you see what your wives are telling you? Saddam, you’re history you stupid turkey, and you better get on the first fucking camel out of town!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honey-moon, you both keep doing it until you’re blue in the face.

2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.

3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, “Fuck you!”

5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

En una playa rescatan a una persona que se hab�a ahogado. Llega r�pidamente un hombre, se agacha se le monta encima, le abre la boca y empieza a chupar, en cada chupada saca agua.

Pasa rato y sigue sac�ndole agua. Una persona que estaba al lado, que est� viendo todo, le dice:

“Oye, como no le saques el culo del agua vas a secar el mar.”

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now we’ve caught you and we’re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we’re going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die.” The Frenchman says, “I take ze sword.” The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and runs himself through. The Englishman says, “a pistol for me please.” The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork!” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over–the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it’s horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, “My God, what are you doing?” And the New Yorker responds, “So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!

ONE DAY C PAY GIGUTOM, NIAGTO CY A SA DOKTOR PARA MAG PA LUGIT SA IYANG TIYAN HUMAN NIATO NIA AGTO NA SAD CYS A SA IYANG MAMA PARA MAG PA TULI AND THEN SHE WAS CRYING AND CRYING AND SO

One day there was a black guy behind the bar working, and a Chinese guy walked up to him and said, “Give me a jigger, nigger.”

The black guy responded, “That is not an appropriate way to talk to someone. How would you like it if someone were to talk to you that way?”

To prove his point, they switched places. The black guy comes out from behind the bar, and te Chinese goes behind the bar.”

The black guy goes up to the counter and says, “Give me a drink, chink!”, and the chinese guy responds “No. We don’t serve niggers.”