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La maestra da clases sobre nutrici�n y pregunta al grupo:
“Ni�os, �cu�l es la mejor leche para el consumo humano?”
Juanito levanta la mano y contesta:
“La leche Alpura, maestra, porque est� pasteurizada.
“Muy bien, Juanito, �qui�n m�s tiene otra respuesta?”
Rosita asegura:
“Yo digo que es la leche Lala porque est� pasteurizada y homogeneizada”.
Pepito levanta la mano y brinca desde su asiento. Ante tanta insistencia la maestra accede:
“Est� bien, Pepito, dinos �cu�l es la mejor leche?”
“Bueno, maestra, yo creo que es la materna”.
“�Muy bien, Pepito! Ahora dinos por qu�”.
“Ay, maestra, no ser� pasteurizada, ni homogeneizada… �Pero qu� presentaci�n tiene!”
A San Francisco tourist is taking a stroll through Golden Gate Park when he�s attacked by three horny sailors.They strip him, tie him over a tree branch so he can�t move and butt fuck him repeatedly, then leave him tied-up and helpless. Hours later he spies a policeman through the trees and calls for help. The cop strolls over. “Well Hello! What have we here?” the cop asks. The poor tourist quickly relates his ordeal with the sailors. “Really?”, says the cop, �It�s not your day for uniforms . . . as the cop unzips his fly,. . . now is it sir?”
After the big Super Bowl party, Doug figured he better spend some quality time
with his wife. He climbs upstairs, walks in the bedroom and crawls into bed.
“Alright honey,” he says, “Give me a play you want me to run.”
“How about foreplay?” his wife replies.
“What’s the foreplay?” says Doug.
“You know,” the wife says, “It happens before the two minute warning.”
After much discussion the scientific community decided to try to determine why the human penis was shaped the way it was.
MIT allocated a budget of $200,000 and after 2 years research decided the the head of the penis was bigger than the shaft so that during intercourse a better seal was maintained and thus preventing leakage and ensuring fertilization.
Johns Hopkins Medical Center allocated a budget of $500,000 and after 5 years research decided that the head was bigger than the shaft in order to provide more stimulation, ensure ejaculation and thus allow for impregnation.
The fellows over at the University of Hawaii spent $2.50, bought a copy of the latest Victoria’s Secret catalog and reached the conclusion that the head is bigger to prevent your hand from slipping off!
there was this blonde and she was really over weight so she went to tha doctor and shes like i need to lose wait..so he says ok..eat 2 days then skip a day..eat two days and skip a day…and when u come back u will lose five pounds..when she came bak she lost 20 pounds..she goes i nearly died the 3rd day he goes wut from not eating she goes no from skipping
=================== General Release WritThis certifies that I, the undersigned female about to enjoy sexual intercourse with __________________________________ am above the lawful age of consent, that I am in my right mind and am not under the influence of any drug or narcotic. Neither does he have to use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.Furthermore I am in no fear of him whatsoever; do not expect or want to marry him, I don’t know if he is married or not, and I don’t care. I am not asleep or drunk and am entering into this relationship with him because I love it and want it as much as he does, and if I receive the satisfaction I expect, I am willing to participate again at an early date.Furthermore I will not act as a witness against him, nor will I file charges against him should I become pregnant, contract a sexual disease, or feel that he is violating the Mann White Slave Act.Signed, before jumping into bed,this ____ day of ____________ 19__Signed ________________________ Address________________________ ________________________ Date of Birth _______________ General Release WritThis certifies that I, the undersigned male about to enjoy sexual intercourse with __________________________________ am above the lawful age of consent, that I am in my right mind and am not under the influence of any drug or narcotic. Neither does she have to use any force, threats, coercion or promises to influence me.Furthermore I am in no fear of her whatsoever; do not expect or want to marry her, I don’t know if she is married or not, and I don’t care. I am not asleep or drunk and am entering into this relationship with her because I love it and want it as much as she does, and if I receive the satisfaction I expect, I am willing to participate again at an early date.Furthermore I will not act as a witness against her, nor will I file custody charges against her should she become pregnant, should I contract a sexual disease, or feel that she is misrepresenting herself. With this signature, I guarantee that the ensuing act of unprotected sexual intercourse represents my most sincere effort at irresponsibility.Signed, before jumping into bed,this ____ day of ____________ 19__Signed ________________________ Address________________________ ________________________ Date of Birth _______________
Un asm�tico sube con problemas 5 pisos, llama a la puerta y le abren.
“Doctor, tengo mucha asma, �qu� me recomienda?”
“F�cil: no fume, no beba, descanse y c�mprese unos lentes”.
“Y �que tienen que ver los lentes con el asma?”
“Son para que encuentre la casa del doctor, que est� abajo, yo soy alba�il”.