Your Momma’s so fat, the National Weather service had to label her body parts!
This is an actual ad
This is an actual ad that appears in the June 97 issue of Dog Fancy:
Can Your Dog Read? While there is little scientific evidence, loving dog
owners believe that there are many amazing indications that some dogs may
be able to read or recognize words. Send now for your Dog Reading Fun Kit
with eye chart, flash cards, instructions and diploma. Hours of
entertainment for you and your loving companion. Order additional Dog
Reading Fun Kits for gifts. Mail your check or money order today! $7.95
plus $2 s/h for each fun kit to: MDA Products, 5339 Prospect Rd #280 San
Jose, CA 95129.
Men…
Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: so they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties…
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock.
Q: Why do men like masturbation?
A: Because it’s sex with someone they love…
Q: Why are men like laxitives?
A: Because they irritate the shit out of you…
Well hung
A man was relaxing in his back garden, sitting in the shade, sipping a beer and listening to the radio.
As he chilled out, his wife struggled with a manual mower, pushing it up and down the large lawn, sweating and red-faced.
The man’s next-door neighbor saw the woman battling with the mower and shouted across the fence, “You pathetic excuse for a man! You’re just sitting there sipping your beer while your poor wife cuts the grass. You should be bloody well hung.”
“I am.” the man shouts back. “That’s why she’s doing the grass.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
It doesn’t matter whether you
Malcolm X Shirt
Mad Condom
Neverland Ranch
The best agency
To determine the top crime-fighting agency in the country, the President decides to give the CIA, the FBI and the DC Police a test.
Each must catch a rabbit that�s been released into the forest.
The CIA walks into the foliage, places animal informants throughout, and questions all plant and mineral witnesses.
After three months of extensive investigation they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI heads into the brush, and after two weeks without a capture, they burn the forest down, killing everything in it, including the rabbit.
They make no apologies, after all the rabbit deserved it.
The DC Police head into the forest and return two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
“Okay, okay, I�m a rabbit, I�m a rabbit,” the battered bear yelled as it was dragged to the car.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Q: How many Soviet
How Deaf?
A man is talking to the family doctor. “Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf.” The doctor answers, “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is.”
The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.
“Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, she answers, “For the eleventh time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!”