Down and dirty!

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A lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods.
Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with poop, crossed her path.

“Oh, my,” exclaimed the lady, “Come on, I’ll clean you!”
She took a Kleenex from her purse and cleaned the little critter.

She walked a little farther and another duck, with poop all over it, crossed her way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little bird.

Then she encountered a third duck, with the same problem.
And for the third time, she acted like a Florence Nightingale.

She walked on still farther and she heard a voice from the bushes calling… Pssssst…”Hey, lady!”

“Yes?” she responded.
“Do you have a Kleenex?” asked the voice from the bushes.

“No, not anymore,” she answered.
“Damn! Have ya’ seen any Ducks?”

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Fun At the Drive-Thru Window!

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Attempt to take the order-takers order.
(“Hi, may I take your order?”) before they get a chance to take yours.

Order confusing items, i.e.,
“Hi, I’ll have a large orange Coke and asmall medium fries, please”.

When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage & ask if they’ll dispose of it for you. Make sure it smells.

Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion.

Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food.

Bring along a Mr. Microphone. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice.

Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk.

If you are a male, have a female friend place the order by speaking VERY seductively and suggestively into the speaker. When she finishes, have her hide and pull up to accept your order. See how many of the order-takers fellow employees have been called over to the window to “check out the babe”.

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Fact and Theory

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A young lad approaches his father with the question, “What’s the difference between fact and theory?” Dad tells the boy that it’s difficult to explain but he can demonstrate it to him. He then tells the lad to ask his mother and sister if they would go to bed with a strange man for $500,000. The boy does as instructed and reports back to dad that both mom and sis said they would in fact sleep with a strange man for that amount of money. “Well, there you have it, son,” Dad said. “In theory, we’re millionaires. Fact is we’re living with a couple of sluts.”

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Una mujer quer�a comprar un

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Una mujer quer�a comprar un auto usado, as� que entr� a MercadoLibre y busc� en la secci�n de autos. En una de las subastas ley�:

“Mercedes Benz nuevo, azul, totalmente equipado. Se vende por 1000 pesos”.

La mujer estaba realmente sorprendida por el incre�ble precio as� que puso su oferta en la subasta y gan�. Despu�s de contactar a la vendedora del auto, se puso de acuerdo con ella para ver al auto y, para su sorpesa, vio que era un Mercedes en perfectas condiciones. La mujer le pregunt� a la vendedora:

“Oiga, �cu�l es el truco? �Por qu� vende este auto tan barato?”

“Bueno, es el auto de mi marido. Recientemente sali� de viaje con su joven secretaria. La semana pasada recib� un telegrama de �l que dec�a: Estoy en Miami. Necesito dinero. Vende auto”.

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Chain Letter

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This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the following list and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have. At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, of whom 4 were worth keeping. REMEMBER this chain brings luck. One man’s pit bull died and the next day he received a Playboy swimsuit model. An unmarried man living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooters waitress and a Hollywood super model. You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One man broke the chain and got his own wife back again. Let’s keep it going, men! Just add your name to the list below! > Bill Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington DC>> William Jefferson Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington DC>> W. J. Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington DC>> William Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington DC>> W. Jefferson Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington DC>> William J. Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington DC>> Slick Willie Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington, DC>> Mr. Hillary Clinton> 1600 Pennsylvania Ave> Washington DC

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