Wrong email address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife
flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
Date: January 13, 2005

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!

~~
Editor’s note: Variation on an old postal theme, but still a good one.

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hot air ballon

there are three men in a hot air ballon one has an axe the
other one has a sword and the other one has a bomb the first man
drops the axe then he see a girl crying he says what is the
matter a axe just fell for the sky and killed my mommy so he
runs off the other man drops his sword he see a boy crying he
says what is the matter the boys said a sword droped from the
sky and killed my dad so the man runs off the last man
drps the bomb he see a boy laughing he said why are you
laughing the boy said my best friend just farted so loud
he blow up the hole town

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The microwave

a blonde walks into big lots she goes to the check out and asks can i buy this microwave the cashier says no we dont sell to blondes.So the blonde comes back the next day with brown hair she once again asks can i buy this microwave the cashier again replies no we dont sell to blondes.So one week later the blonde comes back with gray hair and once again asks can i buy this microwave the cashier says no we dont sell to blondes. Well the blonde says how do you know im a blonde well i know you dont wear glasses and only blondes couldnt figure this out its not a microwave its a t.v.

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The Strength Of 100 Men

Before the final match, the American wrestler’s trainer came to him and said,
“Now don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a
match because of this “pretzel” hold he has. Whatever you do, don’t let him get
you in this hold! If he does, you’re finished!”

The wrestler nodded in agreement.

Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several
times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward,
grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!

A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his
face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised
his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian’s back
hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him,
getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he
asked, “How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!”

The wrestler answered, “Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that
hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right
in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of
strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.
You’d be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!”

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Filing System

Two secretaries were talking about their work.”I hate filing,” said one.”No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I’m looking for. I forget where I have filed them.””I used to have that problem too, but no more,” her blonde friend said.”Now I make 26 copies of everything I type and file one under each letter of the alphabet. That way, I can’t miss it!”

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The Missing Songs From Snow White And The Seven Dw

-Sorry For The Spelling_

!~~Parody of the weird hi ho song~~!

hi ho hi ho it’s off stealing i go, gonna get me a truck ,and
run over that duck hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho!

hi ho hi ho it’s off to the store i go gonna buy some beer,
it’s over here hi ho hi ho hi ho!

hi ho hi ho it’s off to poo i go ,i gotta crap, my legs just
snaped hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho shaving my arm pits i go ,i got a cut your’e next
mut hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho it’s off to home I go gonna watch tv now i gotta pee
hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho its off to school i go let’s learn some stuff and
kill people who are tuff hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho it’s off to a fight i go with a very big chain lets
give some pain hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho!

hi ho hi ho ,it’s off to war i go with a very big gun and we’ll
have lots of fun hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

hi ho hi ho it’s of to work i go with a naked babe on roller
blades hi ho hi ho hi ho hi ho

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Saved!

There was three guys walking down a street.
One was a Christian, the second was a Muslim and the third was a Hindu. They heard a startling noise as they turned around, they realized that there was a flood and it was coming right for them. So what do they do they start to pray.

The christian guy said, “Jesus oh Father I need your help please save me.”

So he was saved.

The Muslim guy started to pray, “Oh Allah I need your help please save me.”

So he was saved.

Then the hindu guy said ok they were saved and they only have one god, and I have soo many I will be saved faster than them.

So the Hindu guy prayed, “Oh Mata Ji, and “

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