A little boy asked his father, if Homosexuals cant reproduce, then why are there so many?
To be continued
Your Momma
Q: How many Royalists
Question and answer blonde joke
Stupid drunk blonde
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” she cried out.However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. “Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake.”
Good News and Bad News
A man walks into the doctors office and says, “Do you have the results from yesterday’s check-up?”
The doctor replies, “You better sit down”, as he calls in the nurse to bring him his cart. The nurse walks in and shuts the door.
“What is it doc?”
The doctor replies, “Well I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want first?”
The man says, “Hit me with the bad news.”
The doctor says, “You have three days to live.”
“Well then, what is the good news?”
“See the nurse with the big tits over there?”
“Yea…” says the man.
The doctor says, “I’m fucking her.”
Rolex and Timex
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
names were…
The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?”
“HELLOOOOOO,” answered the blond. “They’re
watch dogs!”
surgery
Four surgeons are having a coffee after performing surgery.”I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered.” says the first.”I think librarians are the easiest,” said the second surgeon.”When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered.” The third surgeon said, “I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are colour coded.” The fourth one said, “”I like to operate on lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangeable”
Lawyer Gets Double
A man is walking along the beach and finds a lamp. Upon seeing
it, he rubs it to get the sand off. Poof, out pops a genie. It
immediately says that he gets three wishes, but whatever he
gets, his lawyer will get double. He is not happy, but decides
that he gets something, so its not all bad.
He immediately wishes for what he has always wanted, a new
Porsche convertible. As he is cruising down the street, he sees
his lawyer outside his house washing his TWO Porsche
convertibles. This makes him mad, seeing his lawyer get
something for nothing.
His next wish was for $1,000,000. As he is at the bank opening
an account, he oversees his lawyer depositing $2,000,000. Now he
is really steamed and cannot believe his lawyer is getting this
much.
The next morning, he is still mad about his lawyer and is
thinking about how to use his last wish. Genie pops up, and he
thinks hard. Then, he gets a grin on his face and says “I’d like
to get beaten half to death!”
Make your mind up
John grew up on a remote dairy farm in Minnesota, and finally decided it was time to get some experience with women.
So he drove the pick-up into the nearest city and managed to find a prostitute who was more than willing to initiate him into the mysteries of sex.
Undressing, the hooker lay down and proceeded to instruct him carefully.
“Stick it in, honey…..all the way……now pull it out….. okay, back in, slowly………more, oooh, more……now back again.”
“For Christ’s sake,” interrupted the sweating farm boy, “could you make up your mind??”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing