Purpee Jokes

METHODISM You have two cows. They start a farm holy club, then preach
throughout the countryside until all the animals experience revival, then they
all camp out together and sing a lot.

London made its pitch to host the 2012 Olympic Games last week.

England has an unfair advantage when it comes to bribing IOC members.

Hookers are nice and cash is sweet but a dukedom is something your family will have for a thousand years.

-Argus Hamilton

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a
priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red
lipstick,
and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the
disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, Father, what causes
arthritis?”

“My son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too
much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and
apologized.
“I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you
had
arthritis?”
“I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”