yo mama is so stupid when robbers broke in she dialed 911 on the microwave
If You Are Unhappy
Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.
A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story:
1. Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the crap is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you’re warm and happy in a pile of crap, keep your mouth shut.
Yo mama at the beach
Yo Mamma
Yo mama’s so dumb… battery
Q: How many gardeners does
Darts
Prostitute with No Legs
What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
Democracy
Yo mama has
Chaos
Seems there were these three professionals sitting around talking about the oldest profession (not THAT one!). The Doctor says, “Well, the Bible says that God took a rib out of Adam to make woman. Since that clearly required surgery, then the oldest profession is surely medicine.” The Engineer shakes his head and replies, “No, no. The Bible also says that God created the world out of void and chaos. To do that, God must surely have been an engineer. Therefore, Engineering is the oldest profession.” The Lawyer smiles smugly and leans discreetly forward. “Ah,” he says, “but who do you think created the Chaos?”