Purpee Jokes

One day before Thanksgiving, a little boy walked in on his mom and dad arguing, his mom called his dad a Bastard, and his dad called his mom a bitch. He asked what the two meant, and his mom told him ladies & Gentlemen. Later he walked in on his parents making love, and his mom said to his dad oh your dik is so big, and his dad said oh your titis are so big. The boy asked what that meant, and his mom told him Coats and hats.

So on thanksgiving his mom was carving the turkey, and she cut herself and said fuck. He asked what that meant, and she said carving. His dad was shaving, and cut himself, he said shit. tHe boy asked what that meant and his dad said shaving.

2 min. Later the family came. The boy answered the door, and said to everyoneone

” Hello Bitches and Bastards, Put your diks and titis in the closet, my mom is fucking the turkey, and my dad is shitting on his face”.

There once were these three guys who died and went to hell. The
first guy was a drunk. The second guy was a player and the third
was a pot-head.When the three guys ended up in hell they begged
and pleaded with the devil ti spare them. The devil said,” I
will allow you all to be locked in a room for 1,000 years with
anything you want. However you may not come out for those 1,000
years.” The guys thought that this was great! So the drunk says
to the devil,” I want to be locked in a room with all the beer
in the world!” So the drunk was put into a room for a 1,000
years with all the beer in the world. Then the player says to
the devil,” I want to be locked in a room with all the women in
the world!” So the devil lockes him in a room for 1,000 years
with all the women in the world. Then the pot-head says to the
devil,” I want to be locked in a room with all the pot in the
world!!!!”. So sure enough the devil locks him up with all the
pot in the world for 1,000 years. So 1,000 years go by and the
devil unlocks the rooms. The first room is the drunk mans room.
when the devil opens it the drunk says,” Urgh. I never want to
see beer again!!!”. then the devil moves on and opens the
players door. when he opens the door the player says,” Man i
hate women! All they do is complain and bitch about shit!! i
never want to see women again!!!” then the devil moves on to the
next door, wich is the pot-heads door. the devil opends it and
sees the the pot un smoked. then in the middle of the room is
the pot-head, crying. the guy looks at the devil and says,” do
you have a light?”

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?

– Both crews were marooned.

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest.
“Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.”

“That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest.

“It’s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors,” continued the old man.

“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest.

“Thanks, Father,” said the old man.; “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?”

“Of course, my son,” said the priest. The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”

What did the Polock and the Mexican name their baby?
RETARDO