Purpee Jokes

Un apostador le cuenta a su amigo sobre su primer visita a Las Vegas y sobre lo mucho que le cost� dormir en aquella oportunidad:

“Fui despertado a la una, a las dos, a las cuatro de la ma�ana por una corista borracha que gritaba como loca y golpeaba a mi puerta.”

“�Eso es terrible!, exclam� el amigo. “�C�mo dormir en una situaci�n as�…!”

“S�. A las cinco de la ma�ana finalmente tuve que dejarla salir…”

When you get out of a restroom and turn left, your Canadian.

When you get out of the restroom and turn right, your American.

Q. What are you in the bathroom?

Answer down below.

A. European

One day, a bus driver is on his route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The van driver, who works for the zoo, pleads with the bus driver to do him a favor.

A guy walks up to this farmer and asks if he can stay in his barn for the night.

The farmer replies, “Sure you can. I only have four matches though. Also watch out for the four corners of the barn.”

The man replies, “Thanks for the matches and the advice.

The farmer walks him to the barn and tells the man to have a goodnight and he will see him in the morning. The man says, “thanks” and goes in the barn.

He lights the first match and looks in the first corner. He sees a beautiful woman and goes over to the corner. He fucks her and the match goes out.

He lights the second match and looks in the second corner. Much to his surprise he sees an even more beautiful woman than the first. He fucks her and the match goes out.

He lights the third match and it goes out. He lights the last match and looks in the third corner. The woman standing in the third corner is even more beautiful than the other two. He fucks her and the match goes out.

He looks at the fourth corner and decides that the person standing in the corner must be even more beautiful than the other 3 women. He fucks the person in the fourth corner and then goes to bed.

When he wakes up the 3 women are still in their corners. He looks over to the fourth corner and sees a man scraping his tounge off with his fingers.

He now understood why the farmer warned him about the four corners.

A bishop, who was a keen DIY man, was watching a carpenter at work in the house and trying to pick up the odd tip.

But the young carpenter found it a little off-putting and shortly hit his finger with the hammer, whereupon he let out a cry of “bloody hell!”

The bishop tut-tutted and remonstrated, saying he should count to ten and pray for easement.

Unconvinced but chastened, the carpenter continued growing all the more nervous at the bishop’s presence.

Sure enough, disaster struck again as the chisel sliced off the end of his thumb.

Stifling a scream, he looked at the bishop, gritted his teeth and prayed.

Whereupon the piece of thumb suddenly leapt back into place.

“Jesus Christ,” said the carpenter.

“Bloody hell,” said the bishop.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman