How do we know that the “Toothbrush” was invented in West Virginia?
– Had it been invented anywhere else it would have been called a “Teethbrush”.
More Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots
1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head.
3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film’s depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.
4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the `us and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telline the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
9. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was “tired of walking,” stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:…
Anorexic
YO MOMMA
The patient was being preped for the operation….
Dumb Blonde
One day a lovely brunette walked into a doctors office and said doc my whole body is broken. Why do u say that says the doctor. Well when ever i touch any part of my body it hurts see,she touched her waist owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww she screams,then she touches her knee and she screams owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.What should i do she askes. Well ur body is’nt broken. ur not a real brunette are u the doc askes! no i’m not,i’m a blonde says the oung lady! Well ur body isnt broken ur god damn figer is broken!Idiot
Gas at Grand Canyon
Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates…
Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells
them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?” The blonde replies, “Oh,
that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats
turkey, and are thankful…”
“Wrong!,” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same
question, “What is Easter?” The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday
in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the
birth of Jesus.”
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her
she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks,
“What is Easter?”
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know
what Easter is.” “Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously. “Easter is the
Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of
Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus
was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples.
The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to
wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his
hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large
boulder.”
St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.
The third blonde continues, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that
Jesus can come out… and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more
weeks of winter.”
Fax
There was a man who walked up to the bartender talking to his hand the bartender says i have a cell phone installed in my hand the bartender says whatever the man asks where the bathroom is the bartender points to it a half an hour later the man is still not back from the bathroom yet so the bartender goes to check on him the man is lying down on the floor with his pants down holding a roll of toilet paper the bartender says what the hell are you doing the man replies “reicieving a fax”
Air TrafficControl
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360. The pilot of the 727 complained, “Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?” Without missing a beat the controller replied, “Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth.”
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PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said “Tower, this is United 586. We’ve got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first.” The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.
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A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing rollout after landing with his approach speed just a little to high… San Jose Tower: “American 751 Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport.
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Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7” Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure… by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.” Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7… did you copy the report from Eastern?” Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff… and yes, we copied Eastern and we’ve already notified our caterers.”
Golf Balls
A young man, who worked at a driving range, picked up a couple of dozen old balls one day and took them home with him, stuffing them into his pants pockets.
On the bus on his way home, an elderly old lady sat down next to him, so he had to scrunch them up to make room for her. He noticed after a while the lady was glancing sideways toward his pockets. A bit embarrassed, he said to the lady, “It`s all right ma`am, they`re just golf balls.”
She nodded and smiled sympathetically and a few moments later said, “Tell me – is that something like tennis elbow?”