El mexicano no se emborracha:

Posted on by admin

El mexicano no se emborracha: �Se pone hasta atr�s!
El mexicano no saluda: Te dice �qu� onda, g�ey?
El mexicano no tiene amigos: Tiene compas.
El mexicano no se cae: Se da un chingadazo.
El mexicano no se burla de ti: Te echa carrilla.
El mexicano no convence: Tira choro
El mexicano no se atreve: Se lanza a lo macho.
El mexicano no besuquea: Faja.
El mexicano no molesta: Chinga.
El mexicano no flatula: Se pedorrea.
El mexicano no holgazanea: Echa la hueva.
El mexicano no te ve la cara: Te hace pendejo.
El mexicano no se ba�a: Se lo lava.
El mexicano no se molesta: Se encabrona.
El mexicano no te golpea: Te agarra a chingadazos.
El mexicano no te ordena: Te manda a la de a huevo.
El mexicano no se encuentra fastidiado: �Est� hasta la madre!
El mexicano no sufre de diarrea: Se desfunde del culo.
El mexicano no fracasa: La caga.
El mexicano no duerme: Se echa una jeta
El mexicano no sale corriendo: Sale en chinga loca.
El mexicano no r�e hasta m�s no poder: Se caga de la risa.
El mexicano no eyacula: Se deja venir.
Al mexicano no le es dif�cil: �Est� cabr�n!
El mexicano no se masturba: Se la jala.
El mexicano no ignora las cosas: Se las pasa por los huevos.
El mexicano no pide prestado: Tira un sablazo.
El mexicano no le hace el amor a una mujer: Se la coge.
El mexicano no se resbala: Se va de nalgas.
El mexicano no es cobarde: Es puto.
El mexicano no come: Se echa un taco.
El mexicano no va r�pido: Va hecho la madre.
El mexicano no pelea: Se agarra a madrazos.
El mexicano no es listo: �Es ching�n!
El mexicano no pide que lo lleven: Pide un avent�n.
Al mexicano no le hacen sexo oral: Se la maman.
El mexicano no es un tipo alegre: �Es poca madre!
El mexicano no orina: Se echa una firma.
El mexicano no te insulta: �Te mienta la madre!
Al mexicano no le hacen la circuncisi�n: Le pelan el chile.
El mexicano no es mujeriego: �Es un cabr�n!
El mexicano no tiene suerte: Se raya.
El mexicano no es intransigente: �S�lo se le hinchan los huevos!
El mexicano no es grosero: �Es un pinche l�pero mal hablado!
El mexicano no es corrupto: �Es un tr�cala!
El mexicano no se muere: �Se lo lleva la chingada!

El mexicano no es cualquier cosa: es MEXICANO.

As� que si eres mexicano manda esto a todos los paisanos que conozcas.

�Viva M�xico, cabrones!

Spread the love

Druggie Song

Posted on by admin

Sung to the tune of the Irish Washerwoman:

Para-dimethyl-amino-benzaldahide,
powdered aluminum, sodium cyanide,
chromates, permanganates, nitrates galore;
just swallow one sip and you’ll never need more.

Tequila and wiskey and rum are too tame.
Oh, the stuff that I drink must explode into flame.
When I breathe I dissolve all the paint in the room,
and shatter the walls with an earth-shaking boom.

Got gassed up last night on some furfural alcohol.
Followed it up with a gallon of propanol.
Tanked up on hydrozene ’til afternoon,
then spat on the floor and blew up the saloon!

Para-dimethyl-amino-benzaldahide;
go soak your head in a good, strong insectacide.
Follow it up with a dose of benzene,
and top off the tank with tri-chloro-ethene.

Spread the love

Warm and Moist

Posted on by admin

MAN: I’d like to buy some dog food. CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog? MAN:
Yes. CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he? MAN: He’s at home. CHECKOUT LADY: I’m sorry; I
can’t sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I’d like to buy this. CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat? MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well…where is he? MAN: He’s at home! CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I
can’t sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What’s in the sack? MAN: Put your hand inside. CHECKOUT LADY:
Hmmm.It’s warm and moist! What is it? MAN: I would like to buy some toilet
paper.

Spread the love

GAS STATION

Posted on by admin

There once was a man who was traveling to FLORDIA AND HE STOPED AT A GAS SATATION TO USE THE BATHROOM. SO HE WENT TO USE THE BATHROOM AND HE HAD TO DUKIE AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE RELAIZED THAT THERE WAS NO TISSUE AND THEN HE READ THIS SIGN SAYING: THERE IS NO TISSUE HERE SO TAKE YOUR TWO FINGERS AND WIPE YOUR BUTT WITH THEM AND STICK THEM THROUGH THIS HOLE AND YOUR FINGERS WILL BE LICKED BY HUMAN HANDS.SO THE MAN SAY I AM NOT DOING THAT SO HE SAT THERE FOR 2 HOURS AND UNTIL HE FINALLY DID. AND BEHIND THE WALL WAS A MAN WITH TWO BRICKS AND THE MAN SMASHED HIS FINGERS WITH THE TWO BRICKS AND THEN THE MAN JUMPED AND PUT HIS FINGERS IN HIS MOUTH AND STARTED SCREAMING.

Spread the love

Phone call at 2 AM

Posted on by admin

It is two o’clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, “Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?” promptly slamming the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, “Who was that?” The husband replies, “I don’t know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.”

Spread the love

Candy or cash

Posted on by admin

Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia.

One day, the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who were about to leave and seek their way in life.

‘You have led a very sheltered life and you are going into an extremely sinful world,’ she said.

‘I must warn you that men will take advantage of you. They’ll do anything to get their way.

They’ll take you to restaurants, buy you drinks and dinner, then back to their apartments and motels where they’ll undress you, do terrible things, give you twenty or thirty dollars and kick you out.’

‘Excuse me, Mother,’ one of the girls asked. ‘You mean men will take advantage of us and give us cash?’

‘Yes child, why do you ask?’

‘Because the priests only give us candy!’

Spread the love

Q: How many Polish-Americans

Posted on by admin

Q: How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 170. One to send the Never Fail Novena to the Cheektowaga Times for publication so St. Jude may grant the lightbulb request, one to say the Last Rites for the old lightbulb, ten volunteer firemen to break into the house and smash the old light bulb to bits, fifty to protest the abortion of the old lightbulb, ten to organize a lawn fete and spaghetti dinner at Our Most Holy Precious Blood of the Seventeen Martyred Saints R.C. Church to raise funds to buy a new light bulb (and the Monsignor a new pair of bowling shoes as a gift on St. Stanislaus Day), twenty from Chiavettas Catering to serve the food, twenty to run the Monte Carlo gambling tent, fifty to run everything else, one to go to Koplinskis Appliances to buy the light bulb, one to screw it in, five to say the Rosary as the bulb is being screwed in, and the Monsignor to bless it.

Spread the love