Purpee Jokes

Se encontraban dos Argentinos discutiendo:

“�Che te digo que yo soy el hijo de Dios!”

“�No, no, no, mira… El hijo de Dios soy yo!”

“Pero… �c�mo? �Vos est�s loco? �Si el hijo de Dios soy yo!”

Y siguieron asi� por un buen rato hasta que pas� otro Argentino, al cual detuvieron y le preguntaron:

“Mira, tenemos un dilema. El dice que es el hijo de Dios, pero no. Porque el hijo de Dios soy yo. �Vos que dec�s?”

A lo que el otro Argentino respondi�:

“�Che… Pero no me jodas… YO NO TENGO HIJOS!

01. I can see your point, but you’re still full of crap.
02. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronouce.
03. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
04. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
05. Ahh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
06. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
07. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
08. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
09. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
10. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
11. This isn’t and office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
12. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
13. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
14. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
15. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

And here’s a bonus funny from: Siglets.com

Sometimes … when you cry … no one sees your tears …
Sometimes…when you are worried….no one sees your pain…
Sometimes … when you are happy … no one sees your smile …
But fart just one time…

There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The
guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick
the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure
which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then
lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole. This
went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn’t
measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, “we
need to know how tall the poles are, not how long”.

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.””Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn’t care.” The second Englishman remarked, “You just don’t know how to set him off…watch and learn.” So, the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!””Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his buddies. “You’re right. He’s unshakable!”The third Englishman remarked, “Boys, I’ll really tick him off… just watch.” So the third Englishman walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!””Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me.”

The research worker, conducting a sex survey, phoned one of the husbands whose completed form was spread out before him.

“Mr Pullman, there seems to be some discrepancies between the answers of you and your wife to the same question. For example, under ‘Frequency of Intercourse you wrote ‘Three times a week and your wife ‘Three times a night.”

“Well, that’s right,” replied the husband, “but that’s only until we have paid off the mortgage on the house.”