Couple

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There’s this couple and they’ve been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won’t sleep with him because she’s saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he’s very hot and bothered, and he said, “Oh come on, just a feel.”

She said, “No, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

They went back and forth. He said, “Just one feel, I promise, that’s all, just one feel.”

She finally agreed, “Okay, just one feel, but that’s all, just one, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel. Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, “Can’t we please?”

She of course states, “NO, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

He says, “Please, please?” and she says, “No, absolutely not, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

He says, “How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?”

She says, “No way, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

He begs and pleads with her, “I promise, just the tip, no more,and we’ll stop after that.”

She finally gives in, “Okay, but just the tip, no more, and that’s all.”

He says okay and pulls down her panties and puts the tip in… he’s so hot and ready that he can’t control himself shoves it the whole way in and starts going to town… she meanwhile is moaning and groaning and shouts, “OKAY, GO AHEAD, PUT IT THE WHOLE WAY IN!”

A little stunned, he says, “NO, absolutely not, a deals a deal!”

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Why Parents Age So Fast

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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, Is your Daddy home?

“Yes”, whispered the small voice.

“May I talk with him?” the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the all voice whispered, “No.”

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”

“Yes”, came the answer. “May I talk with her?”

Again the small voice whispered, “no”.

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. “Is there any one there besides you?” the boss asked the child.

“Yes” whispered the child, “A policeman”.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked “May I speak with the policeman”?

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?, asked the boss. “Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman”, came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A hello-copper”, answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?”, asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper”

Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, “Why are they there”?

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: “They’re looking for me”

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Lost girlfriend

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A bartender is preparing to close the bar. He has to ask the last man to leave after staying all afternoon & evening.

The man leaves with no problem. The bartender sweeps up, puts the chairs up, turns out the lights and is just about to lock the door when someone pounds on the door.

He opens the door to find the man who he had just asked to leave standing there.

The drunk says “You have to help me, I can’t find my car”.

The bartender ask’s “Where did you last see it?”

The drunk replies “It was right here on the end of my key”.

The bartender realizing that the man was in no condition to drive, told him “come on back in, I’ll turn on the lights and call you a cab”.

When he got the man inside, he noticed that his fly was open and his pecker was hanging out.

He told the man “Hey, your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out”!!

The drunk looked down in astonishment and screamed “OH NO! First my Car and NOW my Girlfriend!!!!

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Stiff Neck?

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A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.

“Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.

“Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma’s idea!”

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Four corporate presidents, one English,

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Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one American, were on their way to an international business conference when they were kidnapped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.”You, your companies, and you countries are enemies of the Revolution,” screamed the terrorist leader, “and you’re going to be executed! Do you have any last requests?”The Englishman spoke first.”Before I die, I want to honor my country and protest this barbaric act by singing “God Save The Queen” to all you men.””That can be arranged,” said the terrorist.The Frenchman said, “And I want to honor my country before I die by singing “The Marseilles” to your men.”The Japanese said, “Before I die, I wish to honor my country by giving the lecture I was going to present on the Mapanese style of industrial management.”The terrorist turned finally to the American.”What is your last request?”The American replied, “I want you to kill me right now so I don’t have to listen to another lecture on the Japanese style of industrial management!”

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