Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
All Male Citizens of Oklahoma
STATE OF OKLAHOMA
From: The office of the Governor
To: All Male Citizens of Oklahoma
GENTLEMEN:
The only thing this great state of Oklahoma has not yet taxed is your peter.
Mostly because 90% of the time it is not working and 2% of the time, it is in
the hole. Also, because it has two dependents who are nuts. However, beginning
January 1, 1998, your peter will be taxed according to size using the
chart below to determine your category:
4 to 6 inches – NUISANCE TAX.
8 to 10 inches – POLE TAX.
10 to 12 inches – LUXURY TAX.
All peters under 4 inches will receive a refund. Please insert this
information on Page 2, Section E, of your State of Oklahoma tax form.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION.
A Russian
A Russian was falling from a skyscraper.
At the 40th floor, he was caught by a man:
man1) Say viva America!
Russian) Net!
Than the man letter he falls. At the 30th floor he was caught by another man.
man2) Say viva America!
Russian) Net!
Then the 2nd man dropped him too. At the 2nd floor hews caught again.
Russian) Viva America!
man3)Boo!@#$%^&*!
And he thrower him out the window.
Great Comebacks…
Great Comebacks
Attention female readers! Are you sick and tired of those stupid old pick-up
lines that men continue to use? Here are some great comebacks!
Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”
Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”
Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”
Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”
Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”
Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”
Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”
Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.
Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”
Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”
Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?
Una vieja le dice a
Lesbian dinosaur
Sexual Sofa
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman.”Is there something in particular I can show you?” he asked.”Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.””You mean a sectional sofa,” he suggested.”Sectional schmectional,” she said shrugging.”All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!”
Atlanta…
Atlanta Coca-Cola is fixing an embarrassing typo in the word “disk”
in copyright information on about 2 million 12-packs of the drink.
In the misprint, the “s” is replaced by a “c.” Normally, the small type
under the copyright information states that the “red disk icon and contour
bottle are trademarks of the Coca-Cola Co.”
Homer’s Advice for Kids
Bathroom
Light bulb
Un hombre quer�a demostrar a
Un hombre quer�a demostrar a su esposa que las mujeres hablan m�s que los hombres, as� que le mostr� un estudio que dec�a que los hombres usan en promedio s�lo 15,000 palabras al d�a, mientras que las mujeres usan 30,000 palabras al d�a.
Ella lo pens� un momento y luego le respondi� a su marido que las mujeres usan el doble de palabras que los hombres porque siempre tienen que repetir todo lo que dicen.
El marido dijo: “�Qu�?”