Category: blondes

Q: Why did the blonde date hunters?
A: Because she heard they go deep into the bush, always
Shoot twice, love to mount their prey and always eat what they shoot.

A film director was interviewing blonds for a movie. He asked
for natural blondes. First blonde walked in and he asked are
your pubic hairs blonde she replys no, “he says sorry I want a
real blonde” well after about the 20th blonde he had,had enough
so the next to walk in “he said look I need a real blonde” she
says im a natural blonde,he says proove it so she drops her
pants, he says your as black as the ace of spades you cant be a
natural blonde. She asks him to put his thumb on the desk, she
takes of her stilletto shoe and bangs it on his thumb nail,he
screams and says shit that hurt and its gone all black she
replys and thats only after one bang!

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

As a group, they decided that one of the party should let go. Otherwise, the rope would break and everyone would perish.

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech, saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

The ten blondes applauded…

231. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up? Blonde: No, it’s working fine.

Operator: Then what’s the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

232. What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.

233. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.” So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too.” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam back.

234. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, “Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I’ll sink?”

235. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said “Oh, look at the deer tracks.” The other blonde looks and says “Those aren’t deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.” “No. Those are deer tracks.” They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.

236. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: “No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can’t cook”

237. A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, “Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.” “Oh No!” she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he’d make it easy. “Who was God’s son?” said Saint Peter. The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said “Andy!” “That’s interesting… What made you say that?” said Saint Peter. Then She started to sing “Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me…”

238. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.

Blonde#1: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!

Blonde#2: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

239. Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called “How to Hug”? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia…

240. A blonde’s response to the comment, “THINK about it!”: “I don’t have to think — I’m blonde!”

A blonde and a trucker man were in a terrible accident. The trucker man gets out of his truck and it is completeing demolished but her car was OK.So, he grabs a piece of chalk and draws a circle and graps the blonde and tells her to stay in the circle.

The trucker grabs a knife and rips the leather seats of her car he turns and looks at the blonde she is giggling

“Oh, you think thats funny”, “Yes, the blonde replies.”

So, he grabs a bat and smashes the windows in her car. “The blonde is laughing pretty hard now.” “Would, you stop laughing.She, continues to laugh.

The trucker grabs some gasoline pours it on the car and lights it on fire.
The blonde is laughing so hard now she is falling on the ground.”What is so damn funny”
the blonde replies “Everytime you turned around I stepped out of the circle.”

What do u get when the blonde wakes up firstA.Bed HEad

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the
bartender:

Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”
Bartender:”What is a B and C?”.
Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”
Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”
Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”
Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”
Bartender: “What’s a 15?”
Blonde: “7 and 7”

A blonde went to the doctor’s office and the doctor said “How did you get a
hole in your left hand?” The blonde replied, “I wanted to commit suicide so I
took a gun and put it up to my chest, but then I thought �This will mess up my
$3,000 boob job’ So I put the gun up to my nose and thought ‘This will mess up
my $2,000 nose reconstruction.’ So then I decided to put the gun to my ear. Now
I’m afraid of noises so I put my left hand up to my other ear and pulled the
trigger.”

One day, a blonde decided to wear her new miniskirt to work. She
takes the bus to work, but on this day, she couldn’t get on the
bus, because her skirt was too tight.

Finally, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little bit.
She tried and tried again to get on the bus, but couldn’t. She
reached back and unzipped it a little more. She tried as hard as
she could, but still couldn’t get on. She reached back and
unzipped her skirt as far as it could go, but she still was not
able to step onto the bus.

Finally, a man behind her picked her up and put her on the first
step of the bus. The blonde was very mad. She turned around
quickly and asked him, “What gives you the right to touch me?”
The man replied, “Well, lady, since you’re the one reaching back
and unzipping my fly, I should say that gives me a great reason!”

How do blonde’s braincells die??

-Alone-

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A:� It�s OK Daddy, I’m not hurt.”

sorry this really isnt ablonde joke but these are the only jokes people read and this is a hilarious joke.

One day this teacher was teaching about GOD. She asked Tommy to come and answer a few question in front of the class. Tommy said sure.

The teacher asked, “Can you see the chair?””
Tommy replied