Category: blondes

Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A. “Thanks for the refill!”

Q: What’s the difference between Indiana and a blonde?

A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

A attractive brunette is is driving on a very narrow road in the country when she sees a flock of sheep blocking the middle of the road. She stops the car, gets out, and tries to shoo them out of the way. After nearly fifteen minutes of this, the sheep still show no signs that they intend to leave, so she gets out and goes to the nearby house, knocks on the door, and says to the farmer, “Hey! Get your sheep off the road or I’ll.. I’ll… I’ll sue you. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll sue you!”

After thinking about it for a moment, she continued, “You know what? If you let me have one of the sheep, I won’t sue you.”

“Fine by me,” said the farmer.

The brunette picks up a sheep and then the farmer says, “Look at you, all fancy from the city. You probably carry a fancy cell phone. You probably drink bottled water… Your boobs are probably even fake. In fact, I’ll bet that you don’t even have your original hair color. How’s this – If I guess it right, can I have my sheep back?”

“Fine by me,” said the brunette.

“Blonde,” said the farmer, without hesitation.

The lady was shocked. “Oh my god… You’re right! How did you know?” she asked.

“Because you tried to pick up my dog instead of a sheep.”

What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? They both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q: What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?
A: At the circus you’ll find a cunning array of stunts.

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?

A: The rest are hunt’n peckers.

how do you get a one arm dumb blond out of a tree?

just wave at her.

The Sherwin-Williams paint company has created a new color, “Blonde.”

It’s not very bright, but it spreads easily.

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room.

She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.

“Miss Smith,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

It was George the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years
of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same
neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route,
he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly
congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift
envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine
cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific
fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly
beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by
the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to
the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate
love he had ever experienced!

When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a
giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry
waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly
satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was
pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
cup’s bottom edge.

“All of this was just too wonderful for words.” He said, “But
what’s the dollar for”?

“Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today
would be your last day, and that we should do something special
for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said, “Screw him.
Give him a dollar.” “The breakfast was my idea!!”

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.