A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.The brunette came in first, the redhead second.The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked; “I don’t want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms.”
Category: blondes
Island
There are three woman on a island and land is 300 yards away. A
brunette, a redhead and a blonde. The brunette swims 150 yards
and dies. The redhead swims 200 yards and dies. But the blonde
swims 250 yards and gets tired so she swims back.
Blonde on a 747
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting,”BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO…..”She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts “BE SILENT!”There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,”OEING! OEING! OEING! OE….”
A dope ring.
What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A know-it-all bitch.
the blonde and the zit
A blonde went to the bathroom to pop her huge zit on her boob. When her friend walked in asked her what she was doing, the blonde replied, “Trying to pop this huge zit on my boob!”
Her friend answered, “That’s not a zit. That’s your nipple!”
Cheer
Q: What’s the blonde’s cheer?
A: “I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B. L. O. N. . . . ah, oh well. . I’m blonde, I’m blonde, yea yea yea. . . “
Weight Loss
Q. how does a blonde loose 5 lbs?
A. She takes off her make-up.
Best For Dinner
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
Blonde AND Polish!
A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some drinks she starts to cry and tell him the sad story that she is Polish and misses home terribly but can’t afford to buy a ticket to go home.
The sailor tells her his profession and makes a deal with her.
“I’ll hide you away on my ship on one condition.
You have to have sex with me when I ask.”
She hugs him, crys and agrees. So late that night they sneak on to his ship and he hides her in a big life boat with a canvas cover. He tells her he’ll bring her food and water and she’ll just have to stay hidden because she’ll be in big trouble if she’s caught.
So for the next three weeks he brings her rations every day and sleeps with her every night.
Finally one day the captain is strolling on deck, sees something suspicious and lifts the cover discovering the girl. He yells “STOWAWAY!”
Scared she explains: “Dont be mad at me sir. One of your sailors stowed me away to take me home to Poland, and is having sex with me for payment!”
“No kidding? Lady… this is the Staten Island Ferry!”
The Reason
One day a very fat blonde met a very skinny brunette downtown.
The blonde gave the brunette a long look full of contempt and
said, “Looking at you, I’d think this country is suffering from
starvation.”
The brunette just smiled and replied, “Looking at you, I’d think
you’re the reason.”
Broken Leg
Q:How Did The Blonde Break Her Leg
A:She Tripped Over The Cordless Telephone
They haven’t met!
What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
Nothing, they haven’t met!