Category: blondes

One day a blonde,a brunette,and a red head were walking threw a corn field.The farmer saw them so he chased them with a pitchfork. They ran into a farm and hid in potatoe bags.The farmer poked the three bags the first bag said “Woof”(brunette)the second bag said “meow”(red head)and the third bag said “potatoes”(blonde)

A truck driver was tooling down the highway one afternoon and heard a “pop.” Thinking that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to check his tires.
He found a bottle laying in the gutter. He picked it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of bottle it was when a very old genie popped out.

The genie said, “Man, I’m too old for this! You get one wish — not three — just one.”

The driver thought long and hard, and finally said, “It would be really nice for all the bridges to be wide enough that over-sized loads could get through without any trouble.”

The genie said, “Do you know how many bridges that would be?! Can’t you come up with something simpler?”

The driver replied, “How about if you make all the blondes as smart as brunettes?”

The genie shook his head vigorously and answered, “How wide would you like those bridges?”

Q: What’s the differrence between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a blonde
with diarrhea?
A: One shucks between fits.

Q: What do you do when you notice a blonde on the street?Ans: Nothing. Do they exist?

Q: How did the blond burn her ear?A: The phone rang while she was ironing.

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A. More head room.

STATE OF CALIFORNIA
DEPARTMENT OF INSURANCE
1700 “J” STREET
SACRAMENTO, CA 95368

PETE WILSON HARRY WALBRATH
GOVERNOR DIRECTOR

BULLETIN NUMBER 95-2374
DATE: OCTOBER 20, 1995

TO: ALL CALIFORNIA INSURANCE AGENCIES
ALL CALIFORNIA DEALERS OF NEW/USED AUTOMOBILES

FROM: CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF INSURANCE

SUBJ: AUTOMOTIVE VEHICLE HEADLAMP DIMMER SWITCH

1. Pursuant to the California Department of Motor Vehicles Act Number DMV 95-79221, all motor vehicles sold in the State of California after November 1, 1995 will be required to have the headlamp dimmer switch mounted on the floor of the vehicle. The dimmer switch must be mounted in a position accessible to operation by pressing the switch with the left foot. The switch must be far enough removed from the left foot pedals to avoid any inadvertent operation and/or pedal confusion.

2. Included in the above act, and beginning January 1, 1996 all other vehicles with steering mounted switches must be retrofitted with a floor mounted dimmer switch of the type described above. The steering column mounted dimmer switch must be disabled or removed from the vehicle. Vehicles which have not made this change will fail the forthcoming California State Safety Inspection which will begin on this date.

3. It is recognized that this will cause some difficulties and hardship for the driving public. However, this change is being made in the interest of public safety. A recent study entitled Initiation Sequence in California Night Time Highway Traffic Accidents was conducted jointly by the California Department of Highway Patrol and the California Department of Motor Vehicles along with the University of California at Berkeley Public Safety Research Department. In this study it has been shown that 90-95% of all California night time traffic accidents are caused by a blonde getting her foot caught in the steering wheel in an attempt to dim the headlamps of her vehicle.

Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?

They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.”

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.” The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, “I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.”

whats the difference bewtween a blonde and a mosquito?

when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking

Why did the blonde use white-out on her computer screens?She couldn’t find their eraser.

Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three
basement windows?

It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.