Category: blondes

A blonde’s car breaks down, so she walks to the nearest garage to look
for a phone, so that she can phone her mom.

The garage attendant eyes her up and down, winks and asks what he can do
for her.

She replies ” I need to use a phone, so that I can let my mom know that
my car has broken down”

“Sorry, love, no phone here” he says, then adds “….well, I might have
one through in the back office..” wink wink.

Gratefully she follows him through into a dingy room.
The man starts unbottoning his trousers and orders her to got down on her
knees.

She follows the instruction, and he waits rather anoyed with his pants
round his ankles.

“Go on then, “he says
She picks up his erection in her hands, brings it towards her mouth and says
“Hello..Mom?”

A blonde women was stood at a coke machine. She kept putting money in and getting coke out. After the tenth can the man behind the blonde woman said:
“Excuse me, are you finished yet i am very thirsty.” The blonde replied:
“Are you joking, im winning!”

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain
announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is
nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but
we still have three engines left.”

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and
the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just
fine on two engines.”

An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our
arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one
engine left.”

A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If
we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. she stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. she instructed that the hair stylist could not take off the headphones.

the stylist replied “no” so the blond left. she went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. the stylist replied “ok”.

after a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair. the stylist took off the headphones and the blonde died on the spot. confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones. they were saying, “breath in, breath out”

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

one day a blonde was apracticing for her drivers test with her
father. a cop pulls her over and says to her, looks at her
father and notices that he was as white as a ghost. he says ” do
you realize that you were going 90 mph. in a 60 mph. zone?” the
blonde replies “no we just got off route 90.

One time there where these three people they where at the top of a cliff and where each givien one wish to get off so the burnet jumped off and said I wish I was an eagle and she turned into an eagle. Next the redhead jumped off and said I wish I was a hawk and she turned into one. Then the blonde was running and fell and said crap and turned into a crap.

Two blondes were roofing a house. One would pull out a nail and then hammer it into the roof. Then he would pull out another nail, look at it, then throw it over his shoulder. Blonde two eventually saw what blonde one was doing, watched him a while and then said, “Why do you keep throwing out every other nail?”. The first blonde replied, “Because their point is on the wrong end.” The second blonde then said, “You airhead, those nails are for the other side of the roof!”

One day the blonde went to the doctors office with two red ears. The doctor happened to ask what happened to one ear and the blonde said well the phone rang and instead of picking up the phone i picked up the iron and placed to my ear. Then the doctor asked what happened to her other ear, “the son of a bitch called back!”

spencer/girl
11 years old

There are three blondes washed up on an island.

Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown
haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so
instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat
and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two.

The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

A little blond girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: “Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It’s good, innit?”

“Yes darling, very good.”

“Is that because I’m blond?”

“Yes darling, it’s because you’re blond.”

Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: “Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! It’s good “innit?”

“Yes darling, very good.”
“Is that because I’m blond, mummy?”

“Yes darling it’s because you’re blond.

Next Day, she returns from school and cries: “Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!” She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D’s at her mummy. “Is that because I’m blond, mummy?”

“No darling, it’s because you’re 25.”

How do you know a blonde has a bad day?she’s playing a pencil and she cant find her recorder!