Category: blondes

1. There is a blonde that always listens to her disc man. on day
her parents made her take the headphones off. A few minuts later
she died why?………..
answer: the CD she was listening to was saying, breath in breath
out

2. there is a blonde and a red head. ther’e each on there own
side of the river. the red head askes the blonde “how do you get
to the other side”. the blonde sayes “your on the other side!”

3.what do a blonde and a beer have incommen????? There both
empty from the neck up.

4.how do you confuse a blonde?????? put her in a round room and
tell her to pee in the corner.

Blonde secretary’s memo to her boss:

TO: My Boss
FROM: Blondie
SUBJECT: Changing Calendars For Y2K

I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all the company calendars for you. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:

Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk

I also changed all the days of each week to:

Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak

We are now Y to K compliant.
Your loyal secretary!

There are three blondes washed up on an island.

Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown
haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so
instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat
and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two.

The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training.

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won’t light up?
Blonde: No, it’s working fine.
Operator: Then what’s the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

There was a blonde and a brunette watching the 10:00 news. A news reporter was in the foreground, giving a report. In the background there was a man and a bridge.

“I’ll bet you 50 bucks that the guy jumps off of the bridge,” the brunette said to the blonde.
“Okay, it’s a bet. ” A moment later, the man did jump off the bridge and the blonde pulled out 50 dollars. ” I can’t take it. “
” You have to, it was a bet. “
” I really can’t take it. You see, I watched the 6:00 news and saw him jump then.” The brunette was feeling very humble at this point.

And the blonde said…
” Well, I watched it too, but I didn’t think he’d jump twice!”

Q:What do you call a clever blonde?
A:A golden retriever

A woman was walkin down the street with one of her tits hanging out.
I go up to her and say “why you got your tit hanging out ” she said
“o shit! i left the babe on the bus”

How do you keep a blond buisy?

Put them in a rond room a tell them to piss in the corner!

The Tearful Bride…

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.”

“Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”

“No, mother,” you don’t understand.
“I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!”

“Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!” says her mom.
“Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.”

“No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket.”
“Airplane ticket…. What did you need an airplane ticket for?”

“Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said –
‘Prepare from a frozen state,’ so I flew to Alaska!”

How do you change a blonde’s mind?

Blow in her ear.

There was some people an a plane and they threw a appl, and orange, and a bomb out the window. When they landed they decided to go on a walk and there was a boy cyring and they asked why are you crying and he said a apple came out of the sky and hurt my dog, so they went on and saw this girl crying and they asked why are you cryin and the girl said a orange came out of the sky and hurt my cat so they went on and saw a blond laughing and they said whats so funny and she said i farted and the building behind me blew up!!!