there was once 10 girls,a brunette and 9 blondes,who had to be rescued by a rope hanging from a helicopter.they all got on but it was too heavy that one girl had to jump off.all the blondes asked the brunette to jump off and she said before i jump i have a little speech to say.after she was done the blondes thought that it was so good that they just had to clap.
Category: blondes
Cliff
why did three blondes jump off a cliff?
they wanted to see if there maxie-pads really had wings!!!
Blonde visits shrink
A blonde is speaking to his psychiatrist.
Blonde, “I’m on the road a lot, and my
clients are complaining that they can
never reach me.”
Psychiatrist, “Don’t you have a phone in
your car?”
Blonde, “That was a little too expensive,
so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox
in my car.”
Psychiatrist, “Uh … How’s that working?”
Blonde, “Actually, I haven’t gotten any
letters yet.”
Psychiatrist, “And why do you think that is?”
Blonde, “I figured it’s because when I’m
driving around, my zip code keeps changing.”
Blonde & Brunette
A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 pm news. The current
news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump, when the station cuts to a commercial.
Brunette: I bet you $20 he’s going to jump.
Blonde: OK.
(Back to newscast : He jumped!)
Blonde: OK. I lost. Here’s my $20 to you.
Brunette: No, that was too easy. I can’t take it.
Blonde: I insist. I lost.
Brunette: I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the
6:00pm news and I knew he jumped. So it wasn’t really a good bet.
Blonde: I know. I saw the same newscast at 6 too. But I didn’t think he would be stupid enough to jump TWICE!.
Blonde Bar Trick
A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks over to the bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says “Sorry sir. You can’t bring that alligator in here! It’s a dangerous animal, and you’re scaring all of the patrons!”
True enough, the man looked around, and noticed that everyone was standing on the tables, looking very nervous. “But wait!” he cried, “this alligator is tame! It wouldn’t hurt anyone!”.
However, the bartender is adamant.
“If”, the man continues, “I can prove that this alligator is not vicious, can he stay?”.
“Well, I guess so”, says the bartender, “however, you’re going to have a devil of a time proving to everyone in here that that alligator is tame!”
The man smiles, and leans over the alligator. “Ralph!”, he shouts, “Sit up!”
With that, he beats the alligator on the head with his fist “BANG BANG BANG”. And the alligator rears up on its tail.
“Ralph, open your mouth!” BANG BANG BANG… And the alligator opened it’s huge mouth wide, revealing row upon row of gleaming white teeth.
The man pulls out his wang, and lays it in the alligators mouth, as the entire bar crowd gasps.
“Ralph! Close your mouth, but DON’T BITE!” BANG BANG BANG… As the man pummels the alligator on the head, the giant mouth slowly closes, and stops juuuussttt short of biting the guys dick off.
The crowd sighs, and the man says “Ralph, open your mouth!” BANG BANG BANG! and the alligators mouth opens wide again.
“There,” says the man to the crowd, “now would anyone else like to try this?”
A blonde in the back says “Yeah, I’ll try, but only if your promise not to hit me on the head so hard.”
Hanger
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”
Bridge Jump
A blonde and a brunette decided to hold a contest. The contest was simple: they would both jump off a bridge and see who would hit the water first.
They both jumped off the bridge at the same time. Who hit the water first?
The brunette did. The blonde stopped halfway down and asked for directions.
Q:how can you tell that a blonde has been…
Q:how can you tell that a blonde has been in your refridgerator?
A: theres lipstick on the cucumbers…..
Q:what do you call a blonde with pig-tails?
A: a bj with handlebars….
The Blonde at School
Day1:
A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,”We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 2:
“We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 3:
“We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I’m a 36DD. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “No dear, it’s because your 25.
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
The blonde and the rooster
Q – What is the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A – A rooster says cock-a-doodal doo and a blonde says any-cock-l doo!!
Blonde and a brick
What is the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A brick does not follow you around 2 weeks after you lay it.