Category: blondes

Once there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They decided to make their very own record and they plan to make it on MTV some day. After years and years of practice they called in and asked to perform. They had to prove they were good enough so the mailed the host of MTV a video. A few days later they all found out they did make it to MTV so they rehearsed plenty of times and had everything going perfect. They were going to be the greatest performers ever. After driving for about 20 hours they were tired but still planned to be great the next day. They arrived on the set of MTV to perform. The blonde was suppose to be in charge of the drumrole when the host said to do so. He said,”Ladies and gentlemen, listen up for the new pop stars of 2002.” Then opened an envelope and said “Could I get a drumrole please?” So the blonde picked up the drum, roled it across the stage and hit the host and killed him therefor they were not excepted to perform anywhere else and were locked up for a cuople years.

lesson:if you want a career, don’t kill your boss or any hosts!!!

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive
blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to
the mail box.

She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the
house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to
the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out
again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it
closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked
her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer
keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”

2 blones are sitting in a parking lot trying to get there mecedes open with a close hanger so the first blone say hurry up its starting to rain we better put the roof up… lol

What does a blonde make best for dinner?

Reservations.

Why did the blond jump off the building?

She wanted to see if her Maxi-pad realy had wings!

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a herd of goats pass.Admiring the cute creatures, she said to the goatherder, ”If I can guess how many goats you have, can I take one?”.The goatherder, always the gentleman replied, ”Of course.”The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, ”352.”This being the correct number, the goatherder was, understandably totally amazed and exclaimed, ”You’re right! Okay, I’ll keep my end of the deal. Take your pick of my herd.”The blonde carefully considered the entire herd and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.When she was done, the goatherder turned to her and said, ”Okay, now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”

A women hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house.

The women walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room.

As they walked through the ffirst room, the woman said, “I think I would like this room in a cream
color.”

The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out the window, “Green side up!”

He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room.

The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. “In this room, I was thinking of an off blue.”

Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, “Green side up!”

This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rosecolor.

And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled,”Green side up!”

Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, “Why do you keep yelling ‘Green side up’ out my window every time I tell you the color I would like the room?”

The contractor replied, “Because I have a crew of blonde women laying sod across the street.”

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway. He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he’s saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving. The cop yelled, “Pull over!” The blonde shouted back, “No! It’s a sweater!”

The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family. “We’ve been trying for months now, Doctor, and I don’t seem to be able to get pregnant,” she confessed miserably.

“I’m sure we’ll solve your problem,” the doctor reassured her. “If you’ll just take off your underpants and get up on the examining table…”

“Well, all right, Doctor,” agreed the young woman, blushing, “but I’d rather have my husband’s baby.”

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn’t get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor ??
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It’s a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.

The steward who checks tickets says, “I’m so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class.”

“I can do What-eva I want, I’m a blonde.” Well I’ll get the pilot.

The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says,” What did you say?”

The pilot simply says,” I told her 1st class wasn’t going to Miami, just coach was!!!”

There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde say a sign that said “Disney Land Left,” so the blonde turned back around and went home.