Category: blondes

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?The noise gave her a headache.

you might be a redneck if you fall asleep in the waffle house

A blonde lady was driving down the road injoying the sceenery and the breeze in her hair when she saw another blonde woman sitting in a row boat in the middle of a field of wheat, rowwing. Hitting hard on the brakes, she spun the car aound and drove back to the woman in the boat. Slamming her car door she stomps over to the edge of the wheat field and yelled “It is stupid people like you that give blondes a bad name! And if I could swim, I would come out there and give you what for!”

A really hot beautiful blonde was about to jump off a bridge to
kill herself. As she got ready to jump, Santa Clause came
walking down and he said, “Now hold up a minute missy. Step down
from there. I am the real Santa Clause.” Surprised, she stepped
down and said, “What?” Santa said, “This may sound weird, but I
am the real Santa Clause. I am allowed to make one surprise
visit per Christmas, and you looked like you needed a little
help. What’s wrong?”

“I have been working at my job for 3 great years and I got fired
today. I thought to myself, whatever doesn’t kill me can make me
stronger. So I went home to my great husband of 5 years only to
find him fucking my best friend! So I said to myself, ‘I lost my
job, my boyfriend and my best friend, I have nothing else to
live for!'”

Santa said, “Alright, I can clean up this mess if you could do
one thing for me.” “Anything,” the blonde said. “How about a
blow job.”

After about 20 minutes of bliss for Santa he said, “Thank you.
When you go home, you will have your husband, best friend, and
job back.” She said, “Great!”

Santa said, “One more thing, how old are you?” She replied, “24.
Why?”

Santa walked off and said, “24 and still believes in Santa
Clause!”

What do you call two blondes in a bubble gum conest…. double dumb

Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?
So she could lip read.

One day, a blonde’s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. ”I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!”

What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to
kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told
him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put
$10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the
north side of the playground.

Signed, A Blonde.”

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show
it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper
bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the
$10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

THERE WAS THESE TWO GUYS AND A BLONDE.THEY WHERE ON A SKY SCRAPER.THE FIRST GUY JUMPED OFF THE BUILDING AND SAID “HAWK” AND FLEW AWAY.THE SENCOND MAN JUMPED OFF AND SAID “BLUE JAY” AND HE FLEW AWAY.THE BLONDE JUMPED OFF AND SAID “CRAP” AND TURNED INTO CRAP!

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She
passes a person who asks, “Where did you get that?”

A: The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!”

Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who cares?*