Category: blondes

I once knew a blonde who sold her car for gas money.

How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door.

Blonde Girl’s Blonde Husband

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises
coming from
the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the
bed, sweating
and panting. “What’s going on here?’ he says. “I’m having a
heart attack,”
cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but
just as he’s
dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy!,
Uncle Ted’s
hiding in your wardrobe closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams
the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
screaming wife,
and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his
brother, totally
naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor. “You IDIOT!!!,” says the
husband, “my
wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked
and scaring the
kids.”

One day a blonde and a brunette are realy angry and think life
sucks so they decide to commit suicide. They go to the top of a
skyscraper and jump off. Who hit the ground first?

ANSWER BELOW:

The Brunette hit first because the blonde asked for directions.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.”I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.”What do you mean?” he asked.”Well, everyone kept yelling, “Get the quarter back!”

Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?A: No smoking.

A red head, a brunett and a blondy are busted at a crackhouse. They all run away into a convinience store and jump into three seperate bags. The policeman looks at the first bag with the brunett in it and it says, ruff, ruff, so he says, well it must be a dog. Then he looks at the second bag with the red head in it and it says, meow meow, so he says, well that must be a cat. Then he looks at the third bag with the blondy in it and it says, potatoes, so he arrests the blondy.

At the bottom of a pool, put a scratch and sniff sticker!

One day two blondes walk into a bar. They go up to the bar tender, order somes drinks and then go to a table and celebrating and chanting, “51 days,51 days,51 days!” A couple seconds later two more blondes walk in, order drinks, and go to the same table as the other blondes and start chanting, “51 days,51 days,51 days!” Then another blonde walks in and goes up to the bar. The bar tender notices a picture frame in her hand. She gets her drink and goes to the same table, sets the picture in the middle of the table and starts chanting “51 days.” The bar tender was so curious what they were doing so he went over and saw a puzzle in the picture frame on the table. Finally, he asked the blonde, “What are you guys celebrating and why are you chanting 51?”
The blonde replied, “Well, we all put this puzzle together and on the box it said 2 to 4 years but we put it together in 51 days!”

2 BLONDES AND 2 BRUNETTES WERE ON A PLANE AND THEN SUDDENLY FELL OUT. TO SURViVE THEY HAD TO HANG ON TO A ROPE. THE PROBLEM WAS THAT THEY WERE WEiGHiNG THE PLANE DOWN AND 2 PEOPLE HAD TO LET GO.THE BRUNETTES WERE OLDER THEN THE BLONDES AND SED YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR WHOLE LiVES AHEAD OF YOU, WE WiLL LET GO. THE BLONDES WERE SO TOUCHED BY THiS SPEECH THAT THEY BEGAN TO CLAP.

A blonde walks into an appliance store And asks the clerk how much is that T.V.?The clerk said sorry but we dont sell to blondes.So she goes home and Dyes her hair brown and goes back to the store.He says the same Thing.She goes home once more and dyes her hair black then went back to the store they said the same thing again then she said how did you know.He said because thats not a T.V thats a microwave

In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.

She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: “Can’t you see I’m winning??”