Category: blondes

A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.

He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, “Why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?”

The blond answers in a very weak voice, “We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings…”

There was this blonde and her boyfriend driving in the mountains and they pass a deer crossing sign and the blonde asked her boyfriend “How do the deer know how to come Here and cross?”

One night a blonde was sitting home trying to put a jigsaw puzzle togetther. She was having lots of trouble so she decided to call her boyfriend. Her boyfriend picked up the phone and asked her girlfriend to explain the situation. Then he asked her what the picture was. She said it was a tiger. When he got there he looked at the box, went into the kitchen made some tea, sat his girlfriend down sighed and said, honey these are not puzzle peices, this are frosted flakes!

A cop saw a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. “Can I help you?” he asked.

Replied the woman, “I dropped my diamond ring and I’m looking for it.”

Asked the cop “did you drop it right here?”

“No,” responded the blonde, “I dropped it about a block away, but the light’s better here.”

A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she’d like a medium
pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she’d like to have it cut into:
six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don’t think I
could ever eat twelve.

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on his back?From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons?

Because blonde guys are stupid to.

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.” After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: “I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can’t remember anything after I turned off the big fan.”

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on
the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to
respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the woman ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the
cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps put her face in her
hands and moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions
stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They
send me a BLIND policeman!”

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with expensive double panel energy-efficient kind.

This week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for the window replacement.

Boy oh boy, did we go around!

Just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid.

I proceeded to tell him that his fast talking sales manager had told me at the time of installation that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven’t heard from him since.

Guess I won that argument.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

one day a blonde,a burnette,and a red head were robing a bank.the police were coming so they ran in to a barn and in some sacks.the policeran to the barn and kicked the burnettes bag.the burnette said”woof,woof”The police said “Just a bag of puppies”So they whent to the red heads bag and kicked it.The redhead said “meow,meow”The police said “just a bag of kittens.”Finally they got to the blondes bag and kicked it.the blonde said”potatoes,potatoes”

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
A. Cause you have to hollow out its head!