Category: blondes

If your a blond scroll down for a very funny joke.

Scroll up for a very funny joke if your are a blond.

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While
following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. “Look! a pair of
tracks” The first blonde said while pointing to the ground.
“Those are deer tracks,” the other blonde replied.

“Oh no,”she said to the first, “Those are definitely moose tracks.”
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the
train hit them.

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city.

Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.

He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci

Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
A. “its okay Daddy, I’m not hurt.”

ARTERY–The study of fine paintings. BARIUM–What you do when CPR fails. BENIGN–What yoiu are after you be
8. CAESAREAN SECTION–A district in Rome. COLIC–A sheep dog. COMA–A punctuation mark. CONGENITAL–Friendly. DILATE–To live longer. FESTER–Quicker. G.I. SERIES–Baseball game between teams of soldiers. GRIPPE–A suitcase. HANGNAIL–A coat hook. MEDICAL STAFF–A Doctor’s cane. MINOR OPERATION–Coal digging. MORBID–A higher offer. NODE–Was aware of. ORGANIC–Church musician. OUTPATIENT–A person who has fainted. POST-OPERATIVE–A letter carrier. PROTEIN–In favor of young people. SECRETION–Hiding anything. SEROLOGY–Study of English knighthood. TABLET–A small table. TUMOR–An extra pair. URINE–Opposite of you’re out. VARICOSE VEINS–Veins which are very close together.

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she
held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but
said that she would figure the infant’s weight by weighing the woman and baby
together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the
second amount from the first.
“That won’t work,” countered the woman. “I’m not the mother, I’m the aunt.”

One day a blonde went to the store to buy a puzzle. She comes back home and starts to work on it. Finally, she gets stuck and calls her boyfriend over to help her.

He comes over and says,”Uh honey, thats not a puzzle, thats Kelloggs.”

(Q)What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
(A) Full

A blonde and a brunette were sitting on the park bench when the brunette said, “My boyfriend used to have dandruff but then I gave him head and shoulders”. The blonde said, “How do you give a man shoulders?”

A blonde went into the store to buy a box of condoms and the store clerk
said that will be 3.95+tax. The blonde cried out, “Tacks! I thought they
stayed on by their self!”

Q: what did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: “oh look! Donut seeds!”

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, “Jump! Jump! It’s your only chance to survive!”

The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away…the
Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

“C’mon! Jump! You gotta jump!’ say the firemen to the Redhead.

“Oh no! You’re gonna pull the blanket away!” says the Redhead.

“No! It’s Brunettes we can’t stand! We’re OK with Redheads!”

“OK” says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell “Jump! You have to jump!”

“No way! You’re just gonna pull the blanket away!” yelled the Blonde.

“No! Really! You have to jump! We won’t pull the blanket away!”

“Look,” the Blonde says, “nothing you say is gonna convince me that you’re not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . .”