Category: blondes

How do you know that a blonde has been using your computer? – there’s tipex on the monitor How do you know if another blonde has used it? – there’s writing on the tipex!

There are three girls strainded on an island: A brownhead from New York, A redhead from Nevada, and a blonde from Texas. THey find a geni bottle, and are all granted 1 wish each. The Brown wishes to go back to New York, so poof she was in New York. The red wishes to go back to Nevada, so poof she was in Nevada. The Blonde says that since those were her best friends she wants them both back here.

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde’s breasts and a tampon?A: A tampon doesn’t shrivel when wet. Q: how are a blonde’s breasts and my P.J.’s alike?A: They both have a lable that says, “100% cottonQ: how are a blonde’s breasts and a pad alike?A: Niether are recomended for the beach and both come in different absorbency levels.

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife
(undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, �How
should I know, that�s 200 miles from here!� and hung up. The husband said, �Who
was that?� The wife said, �I don�t know, some woman wanting to know �if the
coast is clear.�

Q: What did the blonde’s mom say to her before she went out?
A: If you’re not in bed by midnight, come home.

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

This blonde calls this rural fire dept. all excited she says come quick my barns on fire, my barn’s on fire.
The dispatcher says calm down now just tell us how to get there.

She says ” oh, Don’t you have that big red truck anymore?”

One day a blonde woman was so fed up with all of the dumb blonde
jokes that she decided to kill herself. She took a rope outside
and found a suitable tree. She threw the rope over a branch and
proceeded to hang herself.

Soon two men came along and asked, “what are you doing?”. She
replied, “I’m hanging myself.” The two men looked at her and
said, “well usually if your trying to kill yourself you put the
rope around your neck.” Then the Blonde said, “Duh, I tried that
but I couldn’t breathe.”

Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: Why aren’t there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.

Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don’t get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don’t leave trails, like snails.

Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde’s vagina?
A: The Blonde!

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-1.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she’d ever been picked up by ‘the fuzz’?
A: ‘No. But I’ve been swung around by the tits.’

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

How Can You Tell When A Blonde Stuffs Her Bra?…..She Forgets To Take Out The Kleenex Box!

If your a blond scroll down for a very funny joke.

Scroll up for a very funny joke if your are a blond.