What do you do if a blonde chucks a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Category: blondes
What did the blonde do when she got her period?
Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her.
The Official Blondes Sex Quiz
1. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit in the Outback.
2. “Spread Eagle” is an extinct bird.
3. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
4. The G-string is part of a violin.
5. Anus is the Latin word for yearly.
6. Testicles are found on an octopus.
7. Foetus is a character in “Gunsmoke”.
8. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
9. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
10. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
11. Sodomy is a special kind of fast growing grass.
12. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins.
13. Douche is the Italian word for twelve.
14. An enema is someone who is not your friend.
15. Scrotum is a small moon orbiting Uranus.
16. Climax is a weather balloon.
17. Condom is a small apartment complex.
18. Menopause is a button on the VHS remote control.
What do blonds and s
The harder you bang them the looser they get
Blondes
These three women go into a clothing store, a blonde, a red, and a brunette. When they enter the clerk tells them that there is a magic mirror in the fitting and that if you lie you will disappear. The red women goes in and asks for 5,000, when she goes home her house is full of money. The brunette asks for a Mercedes Benz and the keys appear on her hand and the Mercedes is waiting for her outside. The blond goes and says,”I think…..””The blond disappeared because she had said a lie.
“
Mount Everest
11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope
suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten
were blonde, one was a brunette.
As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If
that didn’t happen the rope would break and everyone would
perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.
Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she
would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others. The
blondes all applauded.
Sex
Q:why did the banana cross the road
A:to get to the pussy
blondes
how do you turn off a blondes bed room light?
shut the car door
Robbed A Bank
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: She tied up the safe and blew the guard!
Dead birdie
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly,
the blonde’s friend said, Oh, look, a dead birdie. The blonde looked up
and said, Where?
Blonde vs. Crime Rate
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around
the home?
A: She moved.
Not sweet?
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young blonde raised her hand and asked, “If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in male semen?”
“That’s correct,” responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, “Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?”
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl’s face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class… and never returned.
However, as she was going out the door, the professor’s reply was classic…
Totally straight-faced he answered her question, “It doesn’t taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat.”
Submitted by Curtis
EDited by Yisman