Category: blondes

How do you keep a blond buisy?

Put them in a rond room a tell them to piss in the corner!

The Tearful Bride…

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.”

“Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”

“No, mother,” you don’t understand.
“I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!”

“Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!” says her mom.
“Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.”

“No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket.”
“Airplane ticket…. What did you need an airplane ticket for?”

“Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said –
‘Prepare from a frozen state,’ so I flew to Alaska!”

How do you change a blonde’s mind?

Blow in her ear.

There was some people an a plane and they threw a appl, and orange, and a bomb out the window. When they landed they decided to go on a walk and there was a boy cyring and they asked why are you crying and he said a apple came out of the sky and hurt my dog, so they went on and saw this girl crying and they asked why are you cryin and the girl said a orange came out of the sky and hurt my cat so they went on and saw a blond laughing and they said whats so funny and she said i farted and the building behind me blew up!!!

A brunette, a red head, and a blonde robbed a wawa. They escaped to a
forest. The brunette went up the first tree, the red head the second tree,
and the blonde climed the third. A little while later the cops showed up.
The cop went up to the trunk of the first tree and said, “I think there’s
some one up there.” So the brunette made an owl noise. The cop moved to
the second tree and said, “I think there’s someone up there.” So the red
head made a squirrel noise and the cop said, “No its just a squirrel.” He
then moved to the third tree and the blonde said, “Moo….”

The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant
owned by two blondes:
�Parking for drive-through customers only!�

A Group pf Blondes Walked into a building

OUCH!!!!

OR

A Group Of BLondes Walked into a buiding

You would have thought one of them would of noticed it!!!!

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?

A: A visitor.

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change. She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.
“Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?”
She looked at him and indignantly replied: “Well Duhhh!, I’m still winning.”

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?

A: “Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?”

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

Wave at her.

There was a blonde, a red head, and a brunette and they were all up in space. Each girl tried thinking up ways to be better then the other two…The red head said, ” I am going to be the first woman to land on mars.”The brunette said, ” I can beat that, i’ll be the first woman to land on saturn.”The blonde said,” I ‘ll beat both of you, i’ll be the first woman to land on the sun.””How are you going to do that”, asked the other two. “Simple”, said the blonde.”I’ll go at night!”