Category: blondes

ok, so there are two blondes,walking down the street. and one of them steps on an empty compact, while they are walking, and then looks into the mirror and says wow. this person looks really familliar. and the other one looks in to the mirror and says duh you idiot thats me.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together.

Just yesterday one of you takes away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!!”

There are theses three girls one is a blonde one is a red head and one is a burnette.
Which one jumps off frist?

Not the blond she had to stop and ask for directions

Seven Degrees Of BlondeONEA married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. Thewife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I don’t know; some woman wanting to know ‘if the coast is clear.” TWO Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.” the second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!” THREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it.” The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”FOUR A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.” A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.” FIVE What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? “Is it mine?” SIX A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. “My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?” “Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped. “Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. “Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. “I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was….” “Uh, ma’am,” the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.” SEVEN Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K_9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K_9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”

Did you hear about the blonde who…

…thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?

One day a blond is getting back from the stor and as she pulls into the drive way she heres aload BANG!and fells somthing hit her head she reach’s back and feels somthing soft and mushey in alarm she grabs here head thinking that she had been shot and that that was her brain. as somone gos by they notice her yelling for an ambulance so the man runs and calls an ambulance. when the paramedecs pry her hands from her head they find her cluthching a pice of dough!

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What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blow job with handlebars.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A: Pregnant

A Blonde walks into a bar. She yells, “52 days! 52 days!” The
bartender thinks to himself, ‘Why is she yelling 52 days?’

Another couple blondes walk into the bar yelling, “52 days! 52
days!” The bartender says out loud, “Why are they yelling 52
days?”

The blondes begin to chant, “52 days! 52 days!” as more blondes
walk in. The bartender finally screams, “WHY ARE YOU YELLING 52
DAYS?” A silence falls over the room.

A blonde speaks out, “We finished a puzzle in 52 days that said
2-3 years.”

Did you hear about the blonde that got fired from the M&M factory? She threw away all the w’s

Q. Why did the blonde write “TGIF” on her shoes?
A. To remind her that “toes go in first.”

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message
to her mother in Poland. When the man tells her it will be $300
she exclaims, “I don’t have any money. But I would do anything
to get a message to my mother in Poland.”

To that the man asks, “Anything?” And the blonde says
“Yes…anything!” With that, the man says “Follow me.” He walks
into the next room and tells her, “Come in and close the door.”
She does!!

He then says, “Get on your knees.” She does.

He then says, “Take down my zipper.” She does.

He then says, “Go ahead… Take it out.” With that, she takes it
out and takes hold of it with both hands.

The man then says, “Well. Go ahead!” She brings her mouth closer
to it, and while holding it close to her lips she says, “Hello?
Mom?”