Category: blondes

Why doesn’t the blonde want to drink beer on the beach?
Because she doesn’t want to get sand in her Busch.

there was a boy who liked a blonde and so one day he finally got the courage to ask her out. he said “would you go out with me?” she looked confused and said “where we going?”

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?

Artificial Intelligence.

one day a jasmine(who is a blonde) and her best friend tara(who is a bruinet)whent swimming and the jasmine spots this hot boy and starts flirting.well tara realy liked him and was hert.well the boy gos over to jasmine and asks her out.she of course said yes.well tara becomes over willed with grief and gos over to jasmine and says that we are not friends any more. and that divastates jasmine. jasmines boyfriend decides to take advantage of this and asks do you want me to kiss the boo boo?

A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there’s a “peel and win” sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, “I’ve won a motorhome! I’ve won a motorhome!”

The waitress says, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize is free lunch.”

But the blonde keeps on screaming, “I’ve won a motorhome! I’ve won a motorhome!”

Finally, the manager comes over and says, “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken. You couldn’t have possibly won a motorhome because we didn’t have that as a prize!”

The blonde says, “No, it’s not a mistake I’ve won a motorhome!”

And she hands the ticket to the manager and he reads:

“W I N A B A G E L”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by axelwang

~ she studied for a blood test.

~ she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

~ she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

~ she thought she needed a token to get on Soul train.

~ she sold the car for gas money.

~ when she saw the “NC-17” (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.

~ when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

~ she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

~ when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

~ when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left” she turned around and went home.

Submitted by Yisman
Edited by Calamjo

A blonde calls up the fire department to report a fire at her house. The person on the other end says,’stay calm mam. Now how do we get there?’ The blonde replies,’Duhh! Big red truck!’

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, “They’re driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I’m half-way to the nut hatch.”

“What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself,” her friend said.

So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going.

“Superb! I can’t believe it,” Mary said. “I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don’t bother me one bit!”

By the way – Mary is blonde.

What do you call a blond with a brain?

A golden retreiver!

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to
kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid,
took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put
$10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the
north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The blonde pinned the note to
the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

Why do blondes have squre boobs?
Because they forget to take the tissues out of the boxes!

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.