Category: blondes

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $50!” figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?”
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

A BLONDE A BRUNETTE AND A REDHEAD WERE ABOUT TO GET EXECUTED. THE BRUNETTE STEPPED UP AND THE EXECUTIONERS ASKED IF SHE HAD ANY LAST WORDS…..SHE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING. SO THE EXECUTIONER SAID”3…2…1…”THEN THE BRUNETTE SAID “HURRICANE”. THEN THE EXECUTIONERS LOOKED AROUND AND THE BRUNETTE GOT AWAY.

THEN THE REDHEAD STEPPED UP AND ONCE AGAIN THE EXECUTIONER SAID”ANY LAST WORDS”AND ONCE AGAIN NO WORDS. THEN THE EXECUTIONER SAID 3…2…1 THEN THE REDHEAD SAID TORNADO AND ONCE AGAIN EVERYONE LOOKED AROUND AND THE REDHEAD GOT AWAY.

FINALLY THE BLONDE GOT UP THERE AND THE EXECUTIONER SAID”AND LAST WORDS” ONCE AGAIN NOTHING. THEN THE EXECUTIONER SAID”3…2…1 THEN THE BLONDE SHOUTED “FIRE”.

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?

A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they’re on the train they can tell if they’re going to work or coming home.

Tree blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said that they were deer tracks, the second blonde said that they were squirrel tracks, and the third blonde said that they were wolf tracks.

They were still arguing when the train came.

A blonde, a red head and a brunette board a double-decker bus to go to London.
There are two seats left on the bottom of the bus and only one seat in the top
of the bus available when they board. They decided to take turns riding in the
top and flipped a coin to see who got the first turn. The blonde won the toss.

A couple of hours later it’s the red head’s turn so she
Walks up the stairs, and sees the blonde sitting there scared half to death.
She’s clutching the seat in front of her so hard that her knuckles are white.

“What’s wrong?” the red head asks. “We’re having’ a grand old time down
below.”

The blonde replies, “Yeah, but you’ve got a Driver.”

a blonde,brunnet,and red head go to the carnival.A magician pops out and says look into this magic mirror and if you tell the truth you will be showered with riches, but if you tell a lie you will dispear.The red head says”I have the most beutiful hair”POOF she was gone.The brunnet said “I have the most beautiful face”POOF she was gone.The blonde says “I think…..”POOF she was gone.

A blonde was walking back to her car when a trucker came up and drew a circle on the ground and said stand in that circle now so the blonde goes and stands in the circle the trucker slashes her tires she is laughing so he breaks her windows in she is laughing even harder so he takes a crobar and just really beats up her car she is cracking up laughing the trucker looks at her and says WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT! the blonde goes I stepped out the circle three times when you were not looking

Q: What’s a brunette’s mating call?

A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3: “All the blondes have gone home!”

A blonde wife ran into her house and yelled, “Honey, someone just stole our car.”
The husband asked, “Did you get a good look at him?”
“No,” the blonde replied. “But I got the lcense plate number.”

So the other day in Cleveland, a Total Blond went with friends to a ‘Ladies Night Club’ [think Chippendales]. One of the women wanted to impress her pals so she pulled out a $10 bill. The dancer came over, she licked the $10 and stuck it on his butt. Not to be outdone, the next woman pulls out a $50 bill. She called the guy back over, licks the $50 bill, and sticks it on his other butt cheek. Now the attention is focused on The Blond. What could she do to top that? She got out her wallet, thought for a minute, then the ‘shopper’ in her took over. She got her ATM card, swiped it down his crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and went home.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

To avoid waking up the sleeping pills.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Q: How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.