Category: blondes

Did you hear about the blonde who…

…was an M.D. – Mentally Deficient?

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: “What’s a light bulb?”
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, “Daddy!”

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.
The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, “meow”, the cop says, “oh, its only a cat”

He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, “woof, woof”.

The cop says, “its only a dog”.

He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, “potato”

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.”You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?” The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

Blondes are so stupid they go to the pound to gain weight.

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a
blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she
move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The
blonde replied “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York
and I’m not moving.”

Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked
the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman
asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again,
the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New
York and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit
and asked the captain what to do about her.

The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to
handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered
in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the
economy section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say
so?”

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he
said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He
said, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New
York.

A BLONDE A BRUNETTE AND A REDHEAD WERE ABOUT TO GET EXECUTED. THE BRUNETTE STEPPED UP AND THE EXECUTIONERS ASKED IF SHE HAD ANY LAST WORDS…..SHE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING. SO THE EXECUTIONER SAID”3…2…1…”THEN THE BRUNETTE SAID “HURRICANE”. THEN THE EXECUTIONERS LOOKED AROUND AND THE BRUNETTE GOT AWAY.

THEN THE REDHEAD STEPPED UP AND ONCE AGAIN THE EXECUTIONER SAID”ANY LAST WORDS”AND ONCE AGAIN NO WORDS. THEN THE EXECUTIONER SAID 3…2…1 THEN THE REDHEAD SAID TORNADO AND ONCE AGAIN EVERYONE LOOKED AROUND AND THE REDHEAD GOT AWAY.

FINALLY THE BLONDE GOT UP THERE AND THE EXECUTIONER SAID”AND LAST WORDS” ONCE AGAIN NOTHING. THEN THE EXECUTIONER SAID”3…2…1 THEN THE BLONDE SHOUTED “FIRE”.

Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket seats.

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Swans?

Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?

Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who cares?*

Q: Why do blonds have orgasms ?
A: So they know when to stop having sex !

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm????
A1: She drops her nail-file!!!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She say ‘Next’
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: “Thanks for the refill!”

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond’s ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don’t know any better.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: “What’s a lightbulb?”
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, “Daaady!”

How does the blonde girl commit suicide? She jumps out her basement window

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $50!” figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer!?”
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?

A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they’re on the train they can tell if they’re going to work or coming home.

Tree blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said that they were deer tracks, the second blonde said that they were squirrel tracks, and the third blonde said that they were wolf tracks.

They were still arguing when the train came.