Category: blondes

Blonde quickies 61-80

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61.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

62.
Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.

63.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

64.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.

65.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilised.

66.
Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

67.
Q: What’s a blonde’s idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

68.
Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex ?
A: Kick open the car door.

69.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when she got her driver’s license?
A: The instructor gave her an “F” in sex.

70.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

71.
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.

72.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

73.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

74.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off.

75.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

76.
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An Air Bag.

77.
Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Cause she blows the horn!!!!!

78.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

79.
Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket seats.

80.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band/team?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Rams?

Car Horn

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One day, a blonde and a brunette were out for a ride in the blonde’s new car. Suddenly, some jerk pulls in front of them. The blonde then puts her lips on the steering wheel.
The brunette feared for her life, but had the courage to ask, “What are you doing?!”

The blonde calmly replied, “I’m trying to blow the horn.”

A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor…

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A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I
want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then
skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see
you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20
pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my
instructions?”

The blonde nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop
dead that 3rd day.”

“From hunger, you mean?”

“No, from skipping.

Stolen Merc

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Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favourite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around the store today before he needed her help.She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling,”Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”Oscar panicked, “Did you try to stop him?”She said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”