Category: blondes

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa clause are walking down the street.
There is a dollar on the sidewalk. Who picks it up?

The dumb blonde the other two don’t exist.

Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold onto a thought.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo

A blonde and her sister were at the blondes house. Her sister said, “I here you are having a party. Why didnt you invite me?”
“I did” said the blonde. She walks over to the computer and picks up her sisters invite and says aw man the email man didnt come.

Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first
Blonde, Judy, planned the robbery and went over the plan with the second
blonde, Buffy, in great detail.

The robbery began. Judy drove up in front of the bank,
Stopped the car and said to Buffy, “I want to make
Absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of
the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you
Understand the plan?”

“Perfectly,” replied Buffy.

Buffy went in the bank while Judy waited in the getaway
Car. One minute passed…three minutes pass…seven
Minutes pass… and Judy was really stressing out.

Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here came Buffy.She had a safe wrapped
up in rope and is dragging it to the car.

About the time she got the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst
open again with the security guard coming out. The guard’s pants and underwear
are down around his ankles while he was firing his weapon.

As the gals are getting away, Judy yelled, “You are such a Blonde! I thought
you understood the plan!”

Buffy said, “I did. I did exactly what you said!”

“No, you idiot!” snapped Judy. “You got it all mixed up. I said, ‘tie up the
GUARD and blow the SAFE!'”

Q what do u get when u put dumb and blonde togather.

A a dumb blonde

why did a blonde steal a police car?
because she saw 911 and thought it was a porshe

There was a blonde that was tierd of her life so decided to hang herself. So as a guy walked by and saw her hanging by the waste, and asked her what she was doing. She said that she was trying to hang herself. So the guy then asked her, “shouldn’t you be hanging by the neck instead of the waste?” The Blonde replied, “Well, I tried that, but then i couldn’t breath.”

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?

A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?

A: She kept having affairs with men!

61.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning ?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

62.
Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.

63.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

64.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.

65.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilised.

66.
Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

67.
Q: What’s a blonde’s idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

68.
Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex ?
A: Kick open the car door.

69.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when she got her driver’s license?
A: The instructor gave her an “F” in sex.

70.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

71.
Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.

72.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

73.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

74.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off.

75.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

76.
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An Air Bag.

77.
Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Cause she blows the horn!!!!!

78.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

79.
Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket seats.

80.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band/team?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Rams?