Category: blondes

Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons?

Because blonde guys are stupid to.

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on his back?From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”.

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.” After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: “I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can’t remember anything after I turned off the big fan.”

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on
the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to
respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the woman ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the
cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps put her face in her
hands and moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions
stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They
send me a BLIND policeman!”

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with expensive double panel energy-efficient kind.

This week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for the window replacement.

Boy oh boy, did we go around!

Just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid.

I proceeded to tell him that his fast talking sales manager had told me at the time of installation that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven’t heard from him since.

Guess I won that argument.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
A. Cause you have to hollow out its head!

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?

It is the one with the kickstand.

A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes. So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes. The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde? The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.

…was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn’t have a crazy cat?

what does a blonde and butter have in commen

there both easy to spread

A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.  She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.  It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.  She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but
she slides down the side of the horse anyway.  The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.  Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.  As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant?

He couldn’t figure out how to refill the hand dryer.