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A blonde and a brunette decided to hold a contest. The contest was simple: they would both jump off a bridge and see who would hit the water first.
They both jumped off the bridge at the same time. Who hit the water first?
The brunette did. The blonde stopped halfway down and asked for directions.
Q:how can you tell that a blonde has been in your refridgerator?
A: theres lipstick on the cucumbers…..
Q:what do you call a blonde with pig-tails?
A: a bj with handlebars….
Day1:
A blonde comes home from school and says to her mum,”We learned how to count up to 5 today mummy. I got up to 10. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 2:
“We learned how to do the alphabet today mummy. The others only got up to E and I got up to S. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “yes dear”
Day 3:
“We learned about breasts today mummy. All the other girls are flat chested and I’m a 36DD. Is it because I’m blonde, mummy?”
Mum replies: “No dear, it’s because your 25.
Q – What is the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A – A rooster says cock-a-doodal doo and a blonde says any-cock-l doo!!
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
I once knew a blonde who sold her car for gas money.
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door.
What is the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A brick does not follow you around 2 weeks after you lay it.
Blonde Girl’s Blonde Husband
A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises
coming from
the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the
bed, sweating
and panting. “What’s going on here?’ he says. “I’m having a
heart attack,”
cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but
just as he’s
dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy!,
Uncle Ted’s
hiding in your wardrobe closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams
the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
screaming wife,
and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his
brother, totally
naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor. “You IDIOT!!!,” says the
husband, “my
wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked
and scaring the
kids.”
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.”I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.”What do you mean?” he asked.”Well, everyone kept yelling, “Get the quarter back!”
One day a blonde and a brunette are realy angry and think life
sucks so they decide to commit suicide. They go to the top of a
skyscraper and jump off. Who hit the ground first?
ANSWER BELOW:
The Brunette hit first because the blonde asked for directions.
Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?A: No smoking.