Category: blondes

a blonde walks into an applience store and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience store guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out dies her hair red and comes back in and asks can i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out and gets her hair died brown comes back and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy says no sorry i cant sell you that because your a blonde the blonde says how do you know i am a blonde he says because thats not a dishwasher its a microwave.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?

A: She has a checkbook.

there was this blonde sientiest that worked for nasa, one day she came to work and everyone she worked with had died their hair blonde just to see if she would notice, she worked her regular day, did her work and started to leave, she had to go out the building and the security guard that just came to work in a shift change had dark brown hair, she started to go through the security gate and she saw the security guard and said you must me new, the guard said no mam i work here 5 days a week, she argued with the guy and said no,this is a blondes only company, every one here is now blonde, they finally realized that we run the world and all went blonde so you need to find a new job. as she left she said blonde power.

Abe is a new arrival at a retirement community, and is passing the morning sunning himself on a bench near the garden.

Becky, “a blonde”, is out for her morning constitutional, spies Abe, and says “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” Abe says, so Becky sits down on the opposite end of his bench.

“So, you’re new here.” says Becky.

“Yes” Abe nods.

“So, where are you from?” asks Becky.

“Washington” Abe answers.

“The state or the capitol?” asks Becky.

“The state.” replies Abe.

“So how old are you? asks Becky.

“I’ll be 52 in October.”. Abe replies.

“What did you do in Washington?” asks Becky.

“I was in prison.” Abe says.

“Really!” says Becky, “what did you do?”

“My wife was always asking stupid questions, so I chopped her up and put her down the garbage disposal.” he says.

“Sooo,” purrs Becky, “you’re single?”

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by ���rt�� and dolly04

How do you agravate a blonde?

Put her in a circle room and tell her to find the corner!

A man went to the tattoo parlor and had the words “yes” and “no” tattooed on his penis. When he got home that night, he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants and shorts, revealing his aroused organ and its new tattoo.”What do you think, honey?” he asked his wife.Deliberately she said, “You tell me how to cook, you tell me how to clean the house, you tell me how to do the laundry… and now you’re going to put words in my mouth?”

A BLONDE WOMAN WALKS INTO A HAIRDRESSERS WITH HEADPHONES ON.SHE ASKS THE HAIRDRESSER FOR A TRIM.
HE REQUESTES THAT SHE TOOK HER HEADPHONES OF.
SHE SAID THAT WLD KILL HER.
WHILE DOING HER HAIR SHE FALLS ASLEEP.SLEEKINLY HE REMOVES HER HEADPHONES.
SHE DIE
THIS WAS BECAUSE THE TAPE WAS SAYING REPEATEDLY.
“BREATH IN,BREATH OUT”

Q: What do Darren Milan (Collingwood footballer killed in a
recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of ‘me in a car and their screwed.

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?1 it takes the other 99 to rotate the house!!

What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?

A know-it-all bitch.

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart.

While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day as soon as he leaves, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home after work and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a parka and a mink. He asks her what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the room.

He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but what’s with her wearing the two coats? She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, “FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS!”

Q: What’s the mating call of the blonde?
A: “I’m *sooo* drunk!”

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”