Category: blondes

Q: What do yuo call two blondes in a bag?

A:Twinkies

~ she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

~ if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you’d get change back.

~ they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

~ under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics.”

~ she tripped over a cordless phone.

~ she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

~ at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”… she put ‘Sagittarius.’

~ she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

~ it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

~ if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless.

Submitted by Yisman
Edited by Calamjo

– she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it- she thought a quarterback was a refund- she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats- under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics”- she tried to drown a fish- she tripped over a cordless phone- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”- she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind- she got stabbed in a shoot-out- she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DON’T WALK”- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death- if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you’d get change back- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept- at the bottom of the application where it says “sign here”… she put “Sagittarius”- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes- if she spoke her mind, she’d probably be speechless- she studied for a blood test – and failed- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train- she sold the car for gas money- when she saw the “NC-17” (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left” she turned around and went home

Why did the Blonde throw bread crumbs down the loo??

To feed the toilet duck!!!

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, ”Now, what do I give them to drink?”

There was a blonde driving through the country. She just dyed her hair brown because she was sick of being made fun of her hair color.

She was really hungry so she stopped at a farmer’s house and says, “Hi, If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?”

The farmer agreed. So she quickly counted them and said, “91.”

The farmer looked around puzzeledly and said,”Ok. Take one.”

When the blonde was walking back to her car the farmer asked, “If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?”

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? they wanted to see if thier maxi- pads really had wings

There were three Blondes on a tiny Island. They all wanted to get off the Island but none of them knew how. So one day a genie came along and granted each one a wish.

The first one wished to become intelligent enough to get off the Island. So the genie turned her into a redhead and she swam off.

The next one said: “That’s cool, I want to get more intelligent than her. “The genie turned her into a Brunette and she built a boat and sailed off.

The third Blonde was really impressed and wanted to become even more intelligent. So the genie turned her into a man, who used the bridge.

three blonds walk into a bar the third one ducks.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: “Is it mine?”

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde’s life?
A: Third grade.

Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he enter
the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted
him by saying, “T-G-I-F”.

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T”.

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again. He
acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest
smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F” another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a
quizzical expression, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she
said, “T-G-I-F. It means Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it?”

The man answered, “S-H-I-T……Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”