Category: blondes

Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills.

She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist.

“Please fill this immediately,” she asked. “I’ve got people waiting in my car!”

Why was there 9 holes in the mirror?

The blonde tried to shoot herself.

A blonde had 3 children, the oldest walks up to her and asks “momma why is my name floating flower?” and the blonde replies “well when you were a baby a flower floated on your head.” “thanks mom” then the middle child comes up and say whyd you name me flower feather and she replied because when you were born a beautiful feather floated on your head. the kid thanked her and left. then the blonde hears “mwahugugfah”*in mental voice(no fense any1)* then the blonde replies “shut up cinder block”

Q:how do you drown a blonde???

A:put a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of a swimming pool!!!

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

There were three guys working on the 50th floor of a
building. One was Mexican, one was Irish, and the other was a
blonde. Well one day they were sitting eating lunch, dangling
their feet doing nothing much.
The Mexican guy opens up his lunchbox and he takes out a
taco. He exclaims “My wife always packs me tacos for lunch!
taco’s Taco’s TACO’S!!! I am sick of tacos!!! Can’t she pack me
something different?!?! If she gives me a taco one more time I
am going to jump off this building!!!”
The Irishman looks at him strangely, but doesn’t say
anything. Expecting something yummy for lunch, there in his
lunch box is Creamed Corn and Hash. Overpowered by the
Mexican’s words, he says “Every single day for the past 10 years
my wife has given me this every single day for lunch! I hate
Creamed Corn and Hash!!! I’m with you, Mexican, if I get one
more lunch of Creamed Corn and Hash, I will jump off this
building right with you!”
All the while the blonde is just sitting there eating his
sandwhich. Feeling left out, he says “I get a sandwhich every
single day too! I hate it too!! I am with you both! Tomorrow if
we all get the same lunch, we are jumping off this building!!”

The next day, they are all working patiently, just waiting
to see what they got for lunch. The day seemed to go on
forever, but finally lunch came. The Mexican guy opens up his
lunch. He finds a taco!! He gives a sigh and jumps off the
building.
The Irishman is very scared. He does not want to jump off,
but he has to. So he cautiosly opens up his lunch. And what do
you know? He has creamed corn and hash! He says good-bye to the
blonde man and jumps off screaming.
The blonde, being lonely, opens up his lunch and he finds a
sandwhich. He just shakes his head and jumps.

At the funeral, the wives of all three men are standing
around mourning together. The Mexican’s wife says “If only I
didn’t give him taco’s everyday, he may have still been alive
today”
The Irishman’s wife shakes her head in agreement, saying
“I take full responsibility in my husbands death”
They both look over at the blonde man’s wife who is not
crying and ask her why she is not mourning. She replies “Don’t
blame me, he made his own lunch!”

a blonde walks into an applience store and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience store guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out dies her hair red and comes back in and asks can i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy replies no sorry i cant sell that to you because your a blonde so she walks out and gets her hair died brown comes back and asks may i please buy that dishwasher the applience guy says no sorry i cant sell you that because your a blonde the blonde says how do you know i am a blonde he says because thats not a dishwasher its a microwave.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?

A: She has a checkbook.

there was this blonde sientiest that worked for nasa, one day she came to work and everyone she worked with had died their hair blonde just to see if she would notice, she worked her regular day, did her work and started to leave, she had to go out the building and the security guard that just came to work in a shift change had dark brown hair, she started to go through the security gate and she saw the security guard and said you must me new, the guard said no mam i work here 5 days a week, she argued with the guy and said no,this is a blondes only company, every one here is now blonde, they finally realized that we run the world and all went blonde so you need to find a new job. as she left she said blonde power.

Abe is a new arrival at a retirement community, and is passing the morning sunning himself on a bench near the garden.

Becky, “a blonde”, is out for her morning constitutional, spies Abe, and says “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” Abe says, so Becky sits down on the opposite end of his bench.

“So, you’re new here.” says Becky.

“Yes” Abe nods.

“So, where are you from?” asks Becky.

“Washington” Abe answers.

“The state or the capitol?” asks Becky.

“The state.” replies Abe.

“So how old are you? asks Becky.

“I’ll be 52 in October.”. Abe replies.

“What did you do in Washington?” asks Becky.

“I was in prison.” Abe says.

“Really!” says Becky, “what did you do?”

“My wife was always asking stupid questions, so I chopped her up and put her down the garbage disposal.” he says.

“Sooo,” purrs Becky, “you’re single?”

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by ���rt�� and dolly04

How do you agravate a blonde?

Put her in a circle room and tell her to find the corner!

A BLONDE WOMAN WALKS INTO A HAIRDRESSERS WITH HEADPHONES ON.SHE ASKS THE HAIRDRESSER FOR A TRIM.
HE REQUESTES THAT SHE TOOK HER HEADPHONES OF.
SHE SAID THAT WLD KILL HER.
WHILE DOING HER HAIR SHE FALLS ASLEEP.SLEEKINLY HE REMOVES HER HEADPHONES.
SHE DIE
THIS WAS BECAUSE THE TAPE WAS SAYING REPEATEDLY.
“BREATH IN,BREATH OUT”