Category: blondes

How did the blonde die drinking milk?

The cow fell on her.

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.The firemen yell to the Brunette, “Jump! Jump! It’s your only chance to survive!” The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away…the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.”C’mon! Jump! You gotta jump!’ say the firemen to the Redhead.”Oh no! You’re gonna pull the blanket away!” says the Redhead.”No! It’s Brunettes we can’t stand! We’re OK with Redheads!””OK” says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell “Jump! You have to jump!””No way! You’re just gonna pull the blanket away!” yelled the Blonde.”No! Really! You have to jump! We won’t pull the blanket away!””Look,” the Blonde says, “nothing you say is gonna convince me that you’re not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . .”

One day a blonde chick was walking with her husband. He said “Babe, we have to go to bed more often”.

She replied, Why? Do I have bags already?”

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?

A: Grade
4.

A blonde was standing in front of a pop machine.
Her boyfriend looks over and hears here sceaming at the machine…

“You’re a dumb-looking button!”
“You don’t have much of a future, either!”
“You’re going to be replaced by a much better looking button!”
“I’ve got better looking buttons than you in my dresser drawer!”

Thinking she flipped her lid, her boyfriend walks over to see what the fuss is about.

“What in the heck are you doing?” her boyfriend asks.

The blonde quickly points to the sign on the front of the machine that read…
“DEPRESS BUTTON FOR ICE”.

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out.
When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There’s no fish in there”.

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there.

So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see’s a man looking down at her.

“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink and you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”

Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?

A. To feed the toilet duck!

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman

One day a blonde, a red-head, and a brunette were captured by the army. The soldier goes to shoot them, and says “Any last words?”

The red head says “ah! a storm! look!” And points behind the soldier. The soldier turns to look, and the red head runs away.

The brunette says “hurricane! hurricane! and points behind the soldier. The soldie turns to look, and the brunette runs away.

The blonde says “fire! fire!” And puts her hands on her head. The soldier pulls out his gun and shoots her.

A blonde is walking by the side of a river looking for a bridge. She sees another blonde on the other side and shouts, “hey, how do i get to the other side?” To this the other blonde replies, “What are you talking about, you are on the other side”.

My wife is having a baby soon. A friend of mine asked if I wanted a boy or a girl? I dont mind I said, so long as its not blonde!

Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Why did the blonde quit cheerleading?

She was so embarrassed when she did the splits and class rings
fell out from under her.