Category: blondes

One day a blonde, a red-head, and a brunette were captured by the army. The soldier goes to shoot them, and says “Any last words?”

The red head says “ah! a storm! look!” And points behind the soldier. The soldier turns to look, and the red head runs away.

The brunette says “hurricane! hurricane! and points behind the soldier. The soldie turns to look, and the brunette runs away.

The blonde says “fire! fire!” And puts her hands on her head. The soldier pulls out his gun and shoots her.

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out.
When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There’s no fish in there”.

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there.

So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see’s a man looking down at her.

“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink and you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”

A blonde is walking by the side of a river looking for a bridge. She sees another blonde on the other side and shouts, “hey, how do i get to the other side?” To this the other blonde replies, “What are you talking about, you are on the other side”.

Why did the blonde quit cheerleading?

She was so embarrassed when she did the splits and class rings
fell out from under her.

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?So he wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

My wife is having a baby soon. A friend of mine asked if I wanted a boy or a girl? I dont mind I said, so long as its not blonde!

Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

a blonde brunett and a redhead were all about to die. so first comes the brunett and the killers say ready aim and she yells earthquake so they all run and duck for cover she escapes.

so they all come back after they found out it was a false alarm. and now its the red heads turn ready aim and she yells tornado again they all run and duck for cover.

once they find out its a false alarm they come back. now its the blondes turn and they say ready aim and she screams fire.

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!
The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, I AM THE OWNER OF THIS ICE RINK!

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building. which one will reach the floor first, the brunnette because the blonde will stop and ask for directions.