Q: How Do You Confuse A Blonde?
A: Put Her In A Round Room And Tell Her To Find The Corner!
Q: How Does A Blonde Confuse The World?
A: She Actually Finds The Corner!
Q: How Do You Re-Confuse A Blonde?
A: Tell Her She Found The Wrong Corner!
Category: blondes
Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Strangers
What did the blondes Right leg say to the left?
Nothing, They have never met
Blonde off a mountain?
Why did the blonde jump of the mountain?
She thought he maxi- pad had wings.
What happened to the
What happened to the blonde tap dancer? She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Bottom Deodorant
A blonde woman walks into a chemist and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The assistant, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
The blonde, unfazed, assures the lady behind the counter that she has been buying the stuff from here on a regular basis, and would like some more.
The shop assistant thinks for a minute, knowing full well that they don’t stock, or have ever sold, such an item. She smiles at the thick blonde pillock and says, “One moment please, I will get the chemist.”
The chemist looks at the blonde and says, “Can I help you miss?”
“I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please,” says the blonde. “I’m sorry,” says the chemist, “we don’t have any.”
“But I always get it here,” says the blonde. “Do you have the container it comes in?”
“Yes!” Said the blonde, “I’ll go home and get it.”
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to the her “This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant”.
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “To apply, push up bottom.”
Blow In Their Ear
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: “Thanks for the refill!”
Conversation
An office executive was interviewing a blonde for an assistant’s position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.
“If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”
“I’d have to say the living one.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
Them Blondes like to Swim
A blonde competed with a brunette and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.
The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, “I don’t want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms.”
Brain Transplant
Someone was having a brain transplant and they wanted to view
all the choices. There was an American brain which was for
$100.00. And a blonde’s brain for $2,000,000. The patient asked
why the blonde’s brain was so expensive. The doctor replied,
“Well you see, the blonde’s brain has never been used before!”
Grocery Store
Did you hear about the blonde got locked into a grocery store for a month and starved to death?
Heart Attack
A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises
coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife
naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says.
“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes
downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his
4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s
hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!” The guy slams
the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough,
there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet
floor. “You bastard!” says the husband, “My wife’s having a
heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!”