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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.
They each brought one item for survival.
The red-head brought water. The blonde asked, “Why?” The red-head
replied, “To prevent us from dying of thirst.”
The brunette brought food. The blonde asked, “Why?” The brunette
replied, “To prevent us from dying of hunger.”
The blonde brought a car door. The red-head and brunette asked,
“Why?” The blonde replied, “To roll down the window if it gets hot.”
2 blondes are driving to disneyland when they come to a fork in the road. By the road there is a sign saying Disneyland: left.
So they turned round and went home!!!
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?A: She saw “911” on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist’s couch,
telling
him how frustrated she was.
“I tried to be an actress and failed,” she complained. “I tried to be a
secretary
and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales
clerk and I failed at that, too.”
The shrink thought for a moment and said… “Everyone needs to live a
full,
satisfying life. Why don’t you try nursing?”
The blonde thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful
breasts,
points it at the shrink, and says… “Well go ahead, I’ll give it a try!”
A Blonde was driving down the road, and spotted another
Blonde in the middle of a hayfield rowing a boat. She stopped the car, got out
and went to the shoulder of the road, and yelled, “You know, it’s blondes like
you that give blondes a bad name!, and if I could swim I would come out there
and kick your ass!”
there was a blonde a brunet and a redhead.they are all driving to the hospital because all were pregnant.
the redhead says,”im gonna have a boy.” the brunet says,”im gonna have a girl” then the blonde starts crying and says,”im having puppies!!”
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin out and throw it back.
How does a blonde lose five pounds?
She takes off her make-up.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci
Two people jump off a building who hits the ground first the blonde or the brunett?
The burnett because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions on the way down.
A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00pm news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump, when the station cuts to a commercial.
Brunette: I bet you $20 he’s going to jump.
Blonde: OK. (Back to newscast : He jumped!)
Blonde: OK. I lost. Here’s my $20 to you.
Brunette: No, that was too easy. I can’t take it.
Blonde: I insist. I lost.
Brunette: I have a confession to make.I saw the same thing on the 6:00pm news and I knew he jumped. So it wasn’t really a good bet.
Blonde: I know. I saw the same newscast at 6 too. But I didn’t think he would be stupid enough to jump TWICE!
Q:What is the difference between a blonde and a mesquito?
A:The mesqito stops sucking when you slap it.