Yours Fun Portal !
You are such a dumb blonde that one day at lucnch you were stadind at the juice machine putting money in. And of course ever time you put money in a juice came out. The person behind you said “excuse me but I think it’s my turn. I must have been standing here for like 3 hours.”” Well all you had to say to her was”” Shut up Im winning””!
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141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool ?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
142. Q: Why did they stop doing the “WAVE” at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.
143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1:
10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three…one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
145. Q: Why don’t blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn’t go to 700 degrees.
146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W’s.
148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
149. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
150. Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq?
A: They’re mad enough to kill and they can retain water.
151. Q: What did the blonde’s mum say to her before the blonde’s date.
A: If you’re not in bed by 12, come home.
152. Q: What’s the Blonde’s cheer?
A: ” I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B.L.O.N….ah, oh well.. I’m blonde, I’m blonde, yea yea yea…”
153. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it “good for up to 20 pounds.”
154. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!
155. Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
156. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
157. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
158. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
159. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: “Nice tits!”
160. Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
How do you know when a blondes been having a bad day?
Shes got a tampon behind her ear, and she’s lookin 4 her
pencil.
How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A 69 interrupted by a period.
A blonde walks into a store and goes over to look at some
appliances. The salesman walks over and asks if she needs some
help. “I’d like to buy this refrigerator.” The salesman replies
“Sorry we don’t sell to blondes.”
So the blonde goes home and dies her hair brown. She goes back
in the next day and again asks to buy the refrigerator. But
again the salesman says they can’t sell to blondes.
The blonde goes home and this time dies her hair red. She walks
in the next day asking for the refrigerator. And again the
salesman tells her they don’t sell to blondes.
Finally the blonde asks how he knows she is blonde. The salesman
replies “Because that is a microwave.”
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”
Q: How Do You Confuse A Blonde?
A: Put Her In A Round Room And Tell Her To Find The Corner!
Q: How Does A Blonde Confuse The World?
A: She Actually Finds The Corner!
Q: How Do You Re-Confuse A Blonde?
A: Tell Her She Found The Wrong Corner!
What did the blondes Right leg say to the left?
Nothing, They have never met
Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
What happened to the blonde tap dancer? She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Why did the blonde jump of the mountain?
She thought he maxi- pad had wings.
A blonde woman walks into a chemist and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The assistant, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
The blonde, unfazed, assures the lady behind the counter that she has been buying the stuff from here on a regular basis, and would like some more.
The shop assistant thinks for a minute, knowing full well that they don’t stock, or have ever sold, such an item. She smiles at the thick blonde pillock and says, “One moment please, I will get the chemist.”
The chemist looks at the blonde and says, “Can I help you miss?”
“I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please,” says the blonde. “I’m sorry,” says the chemist, “we don’t have any.”
“But I always get it here,” says the blonde. “Do you have the container it comes in?”
“Yes!” Said the blonde, “I’ll go home and get it.”
She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to the her “This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant”.
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “To apply, push up bottom.”