Category: blondes

there was a blonde a brunet and a redhead.they are all driving to the hospital because all were pregnant.
the redhead says,”im gonna have a boy.” the brunet says,”im gonna have a girl” then the blonde starts crying and says,”im having puppies!!”

How does a blonde lose five pounds?

She takes off her make-up.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci

Two people jump off a building who hits the ground first the blonde or the brunett?

The burnett because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions on the way down.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin out and throw it back.

A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00pm news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump, when the station cuts to a commercial.

Brunette: I bet you $20 he’s going to jump.

Blonde: OK. (Back to newscast : He jumped!)

Blonde: OK. I lost. Here’s my $20 to you.

Brunette: No, that was too easy. I can’t take it.

Blonde: I insist. I lost.

Brunette: I have a confession to make.I saw the same thing on the 6:00pm news and I knew he jumped. So it wasn’t really a good bet.

Blonde: I know. I saw the same newscast at 6 too. But I didn’t think he would be stupid enough to jump TWICE!

Q:What is the difference between a blonde and a mesquito?
A:The mesqito stops sucking when you slap it.

One day a blonde went into a store and asked the man walking
around if she could buy the Microwave on the third shelf. The
man smiled kindly and said… ” im sorry, but i can’t sell that
to you.” When the blonde asked why not, he simply said…
“because you are a blonde!” Well, that blonde wanted the
microwave SO bad, that she dyed her hair and came back. He STILL
said no :(! And when the blonde asked why, he said it was
“because she was a blonde” So she dyed her hair black. Same
outcome. She dyed her hair red. Same outcome! So the blonde
asked the man how he knew that she was a blonde. He
answered…

“BECAUSE THAT AINT NO MICROWAVE!!!ITS A T.V.!!!!!!!”

What did the blonde�s left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

A blonde walks into a second hand shop and looks at the clerk and says how much do you want for that television up there, in reply the clerk says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
The blonde leaves the store and goes to the local hair stylist and dyes her hair red and returns to the shop and asks how much they want for the television, again in reply the clerk says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
Angry the blonde leaves the store and this time colors her hair brunette and returns to the store asking how much they want for the television and the clerk again says we do not sell televisions to blondes.
The blonde then says how did you know it was me all along and in reply the clerk says,
“Thats a microwave not a television”

3 blondes stranded into the woods the first says look moose tracks the second blonde says no there bear tracks the 3rd said no actually they are deer tracks then a train hits them.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You take out the pin and throw it back.

A blonde and a brunet jump off a buliding, who hits the ground first? The brunet, because the blonde has too ask for directions

what is a upsidedown blond?

a brunet with bad breath!