Category: blondes

Blonde in a bar

Posted on by admin

There’s a blonde in a bar, huge tits, an ass to die for…all
round fuckin’ babe. A group of guys across the bar see this fine
lookin’ lady and decide they are going to see if the “head
hauncho” of the group can pick this chick up! So all the guys
put $20 in the pot and send off this sorry bastard toward the
blonde. He standing there, she smiles…he whispers a few sweet
nothings in her ear, she laughs…he takes her by the hand, and
she leaves with him. The guys can’t believe it!

So the guy and gal end up goin’ back to his place. The guy has
the largest fuckin’ “chubb” on in the world…and before a fat
bitch could finish eating a ding-dong…they’re fucking like
pigs!

After about 2 minutes of barn yard banging, the guy jizzes all
over the bitch an decides he’s had enough and tells the blonde
to roll over.

After about 3 minutes of layin’ around the blonde turns towards
the guy and asks, “Do you have AIDS?” He says, “Fuck no!” And
she replies, “PPPHHeeeEEEWWW!!! THANK GOD! I WOULDN’T WANTA
CATCH THAT AGAIN…”

Filing System

Posted on by admin

Two secretaries were talking about their work.”I hate filing,” said one.”No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I’m looking for. I forget where I have filed them.””I used to have that problem too, but no more,” her blonde friend said.”Now I make 26 copies of everything I type and file one under each letter of the alphabet. That way, I can’t miss it!”

Bartender

Posted on by admin

A brunette walks into a bar and says, ”Gimme an M L.” The bartender says, ” What’s an M L?” She says, ” A Miller Light.” Another Brunette walks in and says, “Gimme a B L.” The bartender says, ”What’s a B L?” She says, ”Bud Light.” A dumb blonde walks in and says, ”Gimme a 15.” The bar tender says,” What’s a fifteen?” She says,” 7&7, duh!”

Pretty Blonde

Posted on by admin

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong with the car and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens to be near a farmhouse. She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, “Oh, it’s Sunday night and my car broke down! I don’t know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until tomorrow when I can get some help?
“Well,” drawls the farmer, “you can stay here, but I don’t want you messin’ with my sons Jed and Luke.”

She looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be in the early twenties.

“Okay”, she says.

After they have gone to bed for the night the woman begins to get a little horny just thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, “Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?”

They say, “Huh?”

She says, “The only thing is, I don’t want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers.” She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long.

Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth.

Jed says, “Luke?”

Luke says, “Yeah, Jed?”

Jed says, “You remember that blond woman that came by here about forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?”

“Yeah,” says Luke, “I remember.”

“Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?” asks Jed.

“Nope,” says Luke, “I reckon not”.

“Me, neither,” says Jed, “Let’s take these things off.”

Breathe

Posted on by admin

There was a blonde and a redhead in a store
and the blonde had headsets over her ears
and the redhead said…

redhead: Take those off the workers will think u stole them.

blonde: I can not or I will die.

redhead: Very funny now take them off!

blonde: I can not or will die!

So the redhead takes the headset off a the blonde dies. So the redhead puts the headphones on and listen to what it says.
And it says “Breathe in breathe out. Breathe in breathe out.”