Category: blondes

What goes ‘vroom-screech-vroom-screech’? A blonde at a flashing red light.

a plane was flyin buy and one guy drops an apple and it hits a brunette guy and the guy on the plane lands where the brunette guy is and asks him “why are you crying?” and the brunette guy goes ” an apple hit me on my head” then the second guy in the plane throwse a pumpkin down on a red head.. he lands where the red head is and asks ” why are you crying?” and the red head goes “a pumpkin hit me on my head” and then the third guy throws a bomb down into a house with a blonde head he lands where a house is blown up. he asks the blonde head why he is laughing and the blonde head tells him “i farted and the house blew up”

How do you confuse a blonde?
Stick her in a round room and tell her to find a corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
She finds a corner

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “GREEN SIDE UP! “In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!” The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.

In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP!”

The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?”

“I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.”

One day, 3 mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a red head, expect their daughters are having sex, so they decide to go through their purses.

The brunette mother goes through her daughters purse, and finds a can of beer. She thinks to herself, Oh no my daughter drinks!

The red head mother goes next and she find a pack of cigarettes. She thinks, Oh no, my daughter drinks!

The blonde mother goes last, and finds a condom. She thinks, Oh no, my daughter has a penis!

Two guys were on a long drive back from a fishing trip, when the
blond guy turned to the other and said he needed to go to the
bathroom. So they stopped the truck and he went behind the
bushes. When he came back the other said, “That was fast.”

“Well I need to take a shit but I’ve got nothing to wipe my ass
with.”

The other answers, “That’s easy just go on back, pull out a
dollar, and wipe your ass with it.”

“O.K.” he says as he goes back over to the bush. Later he comes
back with a really upset look on his face and shit all over his
hands and says, “That was a terrible idea. Not only did I get
shit all over me, I’ve got 4 quarters stuck up my ass!”

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”

“Not really,” the blonde replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.”

“Poor dear,” Mom said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”

“I couldn’t,” she replied, “there was no one there.”

Funny joke in the geography section, talk about a real idiot!

There’s a brunette walking down a set of railroad tracks saying,”21, 21, 21…”Then a blonde pulls up, gets out of her car, and says,”What are you doing?”The brunette replies,”Just counting.”The blonde says,”May I join you?””Yes,” replies the brunette. So the blonde and the brunette are now both walking down the railroad tracks saying,”21, 21, 21…”A train comes and the brunette jumps off the tracks as the blonde gets hit. After the train passes, the brunette gets back on the tracks and says,”22, 22, 22…”

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn’t find any buyers. She called her
friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.

“235,000 miles.” Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde’s
friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to
whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the
miles at 40,000. Two days later the blend�s friend asked her if she sold the car
since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, “Why would I sell the
car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!”

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him “Head and Shoulders” and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, “How do you give shoulders?”

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.