Category: blondes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100 — 1 to screw it in and 99 to say I can do
that!

A brunette says to a blonde “Look! A dead bird!” and the blonde looks up and says “Where?”

What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? Nothing, they haven’t met!

One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how to fly a plane.
The guy at the airport said there were no more plane flying
lessons this year but she could take helicopter lessons. The
blonde agreed and the man taught her and said, “I’ll radio you
every 1000 feet you go in the air.” The blonde agreed.
He jumped in and took off. At 1000 feet, she radioed him and
asked how she was doing. He said she was doing great. At 2000
feet, she radioed him and asked how she was doing. He said she
was doing great. But right before she got to 3000 feet, the
propeller stopped and she started twirling to the ground. When
she landed, he went over to pull her out of the helicopter. He
asked her what went wrong because she was doing perfect before.
The blonde said, ”At 2500 feet, I started to get cold so I
turned the big fan off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~

a blonde went to a store to by a new tv for herself. when she
got to the store she asked the clerk how much a tv costed. the
clerk said” im sorry we dont sell to blondes” the blonde feeling
a bit insulted walk away.

the next day the same blonde went ot the same store wairing a
burrnet wig. she asked the same clerk how much that same tv
costed. the clerk responded ” im sorry we dont sell to blondes”
the blonde feeling a bit angery left the store.

Again the blonde went to the store. this time she had a redhead
wig on. she askeed the smae clerk how much the tv costed. once
again the clerk answerd ” i am sorry we dont sell to blondes”
the blond feeling a bit frusterated left the store

the next day the blonde went to the store with a black haired
wig on. she ask the clerk how much the t.v costed. once again
the clerk said” im sorry we dont sell to blondes” the blonde was
very angery. she ask the clerk how could he tell she was a
blonde when she was wairing a wig.
the clerk said ” well first of all this is not a tv its a
microwave.

Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.

Why did the blonde helicopter pilot die?

Whe got cold, so she turned off that big fan on the roof.

What do you call two nuns and a blonde?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”

What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
An airbag.

A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition.The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, “I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used their arms.”

A blonde woman was in a competition to swim across the English Channel. Her competitors in the Breast Stroke division were a brunette woman and a redheaded woman. The brunette came in first, the redhead a few minutes later. Just as the sun was setting, the blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, “I don’t want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms.”

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror.

If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never come back. So, the redhead goes into the restroom and stands in front of the mirror.

“I think that I am the most beautiful person in this bar.” And the Redhead walks out with a brand new red car.

Then the Brunette goes into the restroom and says to the mirror,” I think Im the smartest person in this bar.” And she gets a million dollars.

Then the Blonde goes into the restroom and says to the mirror,” I think…” POOF! She disappears.