Category: blondes

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie–*poof*– you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” –*poof*– The mirror swallows her.

Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the sexiest woman alive.” –*poof*– The mirror swallows her.

Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think. . . .” –*poof*–

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?

A: Chances are they’ll both end up in the gutter.

What do u call a blond behind a stearing wheel?
A air bag!

A blonde walks into a pharmacy before having sex.
She says to the guy behind the counter, “I’d like to buy a condom, please.”

He says, “Hey, watch your mouth!”

She says, “You’re right. better make that 2.”

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.

“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.

Three blondes are talking about their boyfriends.

“It’s funny,” says Samantha, “Peter’s balls are always cold as ice when I’m sucking his dick.”

“You know what?” replies Jenny. “It’s exactly the same with my Richard…”

They turn to the third blonde and ask, “When you blow Chris, are his balls cold, too?”

“Ugh! That’s disgusting! I never put Chris’s thing in my mouth!”

“You’re crazy,” one of the blondes pipes up. “A good blowjob is the best way to keep a guy. You should try it.”

She says she’ll think about it. The next morning, they meet at the cafe and the blowjob novice is sporting a wicked shiner.

“Whoa!” the first blonde asks. “How did you get that black eye?” “Chris hit me when I was blowing him,” she says.

“What on earth for?” the second blonde asks. “I don’t know,” she replies. “All I did was tell him how strange it was that his balls were so warm, seeing as how Pete’s and Richard’s are so cold.”

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennisball,
and seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the
pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian
crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to
him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. “What’s that?” she asked, her eyes
gleaming with lust. “Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply. “Oh,” said
the girl sympathetically, “that must be painful… I had tennis elbow
once.”

what do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you.

pull the pin and throw it back.

How can you tell someone is blonde?

when they look at you!

Why are blondes like 7-Eleven stores? Open 24 hours a day.

how do you drown a blonde?
put a mirror in the bath

A blond, a brunette and a redhead escape from jail and
Decide to hide in a barn. As they hear the police closing in, they climb into
the loft and hide in three empty burlap feed bags. A young officer climbed into
the loft, shined his flashlight around, and decided to check the burlap bags. He
kicked the first bag containing the brunette, and she responded with a
convincing “woof”. He kicked the second bag with the redhead inside, and she let
out a perfect cat�s meow. “Nothing up here but cats and dogs,” the officer
Responded to his superior. Deciding to be sure, he kicked the last bag, the
one containing the blonde. She yelled out “Potatoes!!!”