Category: blondes

201. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling ?
A: A blond electrician

202. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn’t fit.

203. Q: Why wasn’t the Virgin Mary a blonde ????
A: She wouldn’t have been old enough to bear children!

204. Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

205. Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

206. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

207. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

208. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband’s car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

209. Q: Why did they call the blond twinkie?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.

210. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?

211. Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them

212. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: “Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?”

213. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.

214. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

215. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.

216. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.

217. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

218. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

219. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde’s ass?
A: A brain tumor.

220. Q: Why do blonde’s find it difficult to marry?
A: Because you don’t have to marry them for sex!

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?

An Italian suppository.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her
arm. She passes a person who asks “Where did you get that?”

The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!”

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100 — 1 to screw it in and 99 to say I can do
that!

How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can’t find her pencil.

A brunette says to a blonde “Look! A dead bird!” and the blonde looks up and says “Where?”

One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how to fly a plane.
The guy at the airport said there were no more plane flying
lessons this year but she could take helicopter lessons. The
blonde agreed and the man taught her and said, “I’ll radio you
every 1000 feet you go in the air.” The blonde agreed.
He jumped in and took off. At 1000 feet, she radioed him and
asked how she was doing. He said she was doing great. At 2000
feet, she radioed him and asked how she was doing. He said she
was doing great. But right before she got to 3000 feet, the
propeller stopped and she started twirling to the ground. When
she landed, he went over to pull her out of the helicopter. He
asked her what went wrong because she was doing perfect before.
The blonde said, ”At 2500 feet, I started to get cold so I
turned the big fan off.

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a blonde went to a store to by a new tv for herself. when she
got to the store she asked the clerk how much a tv costed. the
clerk said” im sorry we dont sell to blondes” the blonde feeling
a bit insulted walk away.

the next day the same blonde went ot the same store wairing a
burrnet wig. she asked the same clerk how much that same tv
costed. the clerk responded ” im sorry we dont sell to blondes”
the blonde feeling a bit angery left the store.

Again the blonde went to the store. this time she had a redhead
wig on. she askeed the smae clerk how much the tv costed. once
again the clerk answerd ” i am sorry we dont sell to blondes”
the blond feeling a bit frusterated left the store

the next day the blonde went to the store with a black haired
wig on. she ask the clerk how much the t.v costed. once again
the clerk said” im sorry we dont sell to blondes” the blonde was
very angery. she ask the clerk how could he tell she was a
blonde when she was wairing a wig.
the clerk said ” well first of all this is not a tv its a
microwave.

What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? Nothing, they haven’t met!

Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm.

Why did the blonde helicopter pilot die?

Whe got cold, so she turned off that big fan on the roof.

What do you call two nuns and a blonde?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”