Category: blondes

A blonde walks into a building….you would have thought she would have seen it!

Q: how do you drowned a blonde?

A: put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

A blonde is in the car with her boyfriend and he asks her to stick her head out the window and tell him if the turn signal is working.

She sticks her head out the window and says, “Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.”

One hot day, a blonde went up to a pop machine outside of Safeway and pulled out a handful of quarters. She put the first quarter in and got a pop. She put a second quarter in and got another pop. She continued to do this until, finally, a man who was very thirsty, tapped her and the shoulder and asked, “Excuse me, miss. I’m really thirsty and you’re taking a really long time. You already have like 10 pops! What are you doing?” The blonde turned and said, “DUH!! Winning!”

Q: What goes “Vroom!..screech..Vroom!..screech”?

A: A blonde at a flashing red light.

A blondes dad said go rake the leaves so she goes out and starts raken the leaves out of the tree

Why did the blonde lesbian buy a cat
she thought she could get some pussy

Once there was a blonde that bought a house. she want to name her new house.

so she said “the next thing I hear I will name my house!” so she went down the street and the first thing she heard was “hairy butt”

then she went and bought a dog. and said the next thing she heard she will anme the dog it!!! The next thing she heard was “huge zit”

the next day her dog ran away so she went to the police and said “I looked everywere on and in my hairy butt but I can not find my huge zit anywere!!!”

There was this blonde and she had just found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with her best friend and the rest of her school day wasnt going to well either so she says to her self “ugh my boyfriend just broke up with me, everything is going bad in my life and i have no reason to live i want to hang myself” so she goes home and finds a rope and she hangs herself from the porch well some guy walks by and sees her hanging off the porch by a rope and he asks her “what the hell are u doing?” and she tells him “ugh my boyfriend just broke up with me, everything is going bad in my life and i have no reason to live so im hanging my self” well he asks “why are u hanging from your waist arent u suppose to hang yourself from your throat” and the blonde says ” i tried that but i couldnt breathe!”

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think I think I’m the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think…” *POOF*

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A: Frosted Flakes.

guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.”I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.”What do you mean?”he asked.”Well, everyone kept yelling, “Get the quarter back!”