Category: blondes

One night a blonde was driveing in her car and saw a stranger on the road. She stoped and asked if she could help. The dark stranger replied to her “Yes you can get out of your car and stand in the box I have drawn on the road and dont move from it.” so she did. He told her that if she moved there would be dier consequinces. So he turned from her. All of a sudden she started laughing. He turned to her quickly. Then knocked out her windows and replied “I told you so.” then turned agian. Not one minute after he turned she was laughing agian. So he riped out the seat cloth and replied “I told you so” then turned agian. all of a sudden she begain to laugh agian. he quickly turned to her then blew up her car and replied “I told you so” then turned once more. she then laughed agian. He turned to her frustratedly and asked “Why are you laughing, I just blew up your car?” then she said “I steped out of the box while you wasnt looking.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Run! She’s got a grenade in her mouth!

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first
blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how
would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast, because he only
has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his
profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5
seconds at the second blonde and asks her,”This is your suspect, how would you
recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to
catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course
only one eye and one ear are showing,because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is
that the best? Answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde
and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize
him?” He quickly adds”
. . . Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hamm . . .
the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn�t know
himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting
answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get
back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
Suspect file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact
lenses. Good work!
How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses, because he
only has one eye and one ear.

A blonde women, a brunette women, and a brown haired women are getting ready to be executed by the electric chair.

The brunette walks in the room and sits down on the electric chair.

Before the man throws the switch he asks if she has any last words.

The brunette says, I did not do anything wrong, I am innocent.

The man throws the switch and nothing happened. He throws the switch again and says, Surely this is a sign of God. You may leave.

Next up is the brown haired women.

Before the man throws the switch he asks if she has any last words.

I am innocent. I swear I did not do anything wrong.

The man throws the switch again, and nothing happened. Surely this is a sign of God. You may leave.

Last up is the blonde.

Again the man asks if she has any last words before he throws the switch.

The blonde thinks for a minute and says, Its not plugged in.

By: Allison, Laura, and Jessie

A blonde walks into a barber shop one day and asks the man if she can get her hair cut. The man says “Well ma’am, I can’t cut your hair with those head-phones on. You’re going to have to take them off.”

She shakes her head vigorously and replies “No, if I take them off, I will die.” He put his hands on his hips and ripped them off of her head. She fell to the floor and died. He was extremely surprised and picked up the head-phones.

All he heard was “Breathe in, breathe out, breath in.”

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?

So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tanyilazing

A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way.After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. “I’m doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I’m starting to get the hang of this.” After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn’t radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said, “I don’t know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can’t remember anything after I turned off the big fan.”

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.

“Ma’am, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road?”
The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here!
I almost had an accident!
I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me.
I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me.
I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!”

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, –
“Ma’am… that’s your air freshener!”

a.How duse a blond tern on the light after having sex? b.Kick open the car door.

There was three blondes stuck on an island when they found a lamp witch they rubbed and they each got three wishes.

The first blonde says,”i wish i was 10% smarter so i can swim off the island.” so she turned into a brunette and swam off the island.

the 2nd blonde wishes she was 25% smarter so she turned into a red head and swam off the island

the 3rd blonde wishes she was 50% smarter…So she turned into a man and walked across the bridge

THE OFFICIAL BLONDES SEX QUIZ

TRUE or FALSE?

1. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit in the Outback.
2. “Spread Eagle” is an extinct bird.
3. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
4. The G-string is part of a violin.
5. Anus is the Latin word for yearly.
6. Testicles are found on an octopus.
7. Foetus is a character in “Gunsmoke”.
8. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
9. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
10. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
11. Sodomy is a special kind of fast growing grass.
12. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins.
13. Douche is the Italian word for twelve.
14. An enema is someone who is not your friend.
15. Scrotum is a small moon orbiting Uranus.
16. Climax is a weather balloon.
17. Condom is a small apartment complex.
18. Menopause is a button on the VHS remote control.

what does a blond and a dore got in coman

they boath git slamed a lot