How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
Category: blondes
Blonde T-Shirts
Why do blondes have TGIF on the front of their shirts?It stands for tits go in front.
Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Blonde at the Supermarket
Linda Burnett, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda’s eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she’d been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.And, yes, Linda is a blonde.
Blonde & the Coke Machine
A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. “Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?”
The blonde turns around and says, “Yeah right! I’m not giving up this machine while I’m still winning!”
Smarts?
What do you call a blonde that dies her hair Brown? Artificial
intelligence!
Say After Sex
Q: What do blondes say after sex?
A1: “Thanks, Guys!”
A2: “Are you boys all in the same band?”
A3: Do you guys all play for the same team?
A4: Who were all those guys?
Bashing Blondes…part 3!
Q: What is every blonde’s ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: “I’m “sooo” drunk!”
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”
Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!
Q: Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don’t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A2: So that when they’re on the train they can tell if they’re going to work or coming home.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: “good for up to 20 pounds.”
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Blonde quickies 4
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
Q: What’s the mating call of the blonde?
A: “I’m *sooo* drunk!”
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”
Q: What’s the mating call of the brunette?
A: “All the blondes have gone home!”
Q: What’s a brunette’s mating call ?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
Q: What’s the mating call of the redhead?
A: “Next!”
Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST — Goods and Services Tax)
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Blonde joke
Q Why does a blond go in the right ditch?
A because her right blinker was on.
hanging from plane
There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.
They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, “I’ll get off.”
After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.
Head and Shoulders
There’s this blond and this brunette. And they’re in an elevator. And this hot guy walks into the elevator, and the women are like “Woo-hoo, that guy is fine” and “Mmm…he’s got a nice butt”, and stuff like that.
Then they notice that he has dandruff.
When he gets off of the elevator, the women burst out laughing.
The brunette, giggles and says: “Oh, man, someone should give him head and shoulders.”
And the blond, confused, says: “Really? Well, how do you give someone shoulders?”