Category: blondes

How does a blonde commit suicide?

She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

One day,3 blondes and a brunette were hanging over a cliff from a rope that could only hold 3 people,the brunette said,I will let go!.
And the three blondes started clapping.

To cut off a blonde’s ears, put razor blades on each shoulder and ask the blond a question.

Automatically the blonde will shake her head from shoulder to shoulder saying “I don’t know.”

Three blondes are stuck on a desert island and one finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish. the first blonde says, “I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island.” Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island. The second sees what happens and says “I wish I was 25% smarter so that I can get off this island!” She then turns into a brunette, makes a raft from trees and sails off. Finally, the third blonde says “I wish I was 50% smarter so I can get off this island.” She then suddenly turns into a man and walks across the bridge.

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?A: “Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?”

Blondes are like vaccuum cleaners: They suck, they blow, and they get laid in a closet!Blondes are likes bowling balls: you pick them up, finger them, throw them in the gutter and they comd back for more!

A blonde was walking along the beach when she finds an old bottle floating in the water. The blonde goes over and picks it up and notices a cork in the top of the bottle. She pulls out the cork and a genie pops out.
“Thankyou for letting me out after 10000 years, stuck in that bottle and to say thankyou I will give you 3 wishes.
The blonde thinks for a little while and finally decides on her first wish.
“I would like to be 10% smarter”
The genie does her magic and she is turned into a red head.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet, I would like to be 100% smarter than what I am”
So the Genie does her magic a second time and she turns in to a brunette.
“I don’t think I am smart enough yet I would like to be 1000% smarter than what I am”
So the genie turns her into a man!

Two guys in a pickup truck were driving home one day, when they see a dirt road that was big enough for only one vehicle. They debated a while whether or not to explore what was down there. In the end, they decided to go for it.

After driving down the road for a while, they saw a blonde standing on the side of the road. She asked for a ride, and they agreed, so she hopped in the back of truck. They continued driving down the road, when all of a sudden a semi-truck was coming right towards them. They swerved off the road and ended up in a river.

The two guys got out in time, but they didn’t see the blonde. They started to think the worst and feared she died. A few minutes later, she suddenly appeared and they incredulously asked her what happened. She said, “I couldn’t get the tailgate open.”

A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her index finger shot
off.

How did this happen? The doctor asked.
“Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the Blonde replied.

“Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?”

“No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, I just paid $6,000
for these boobs. Then I put it in my mouth and thought, I just paid $3,000 to
get my teeth straightened. Then I put the gun in my ear, and thought this is
going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled
the trigger.”

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?

A frosted Flake!

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 22!”

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”

This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or lookup.
“Just to confirm for our records, your name please?”

The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!”

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks –
“What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?”

“Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead…
” I was just running through that song –
‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’