Category: blondes

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in comes four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!”
Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Two more blondes show up and soon their voices join in raising the roof, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!”
Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table rupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!”
The bartender can’t contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautiful child’s puzzle of the cookie monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, “What’s all the chanting and celebration about?”
The blonde who brought in the picture pipes up, “Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.
The side of the box said 2 – 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!”

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!”

The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!”

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it’s back, and frustrated, shouts out, “This one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

A blonde and a man were in an elevator. The blonde sighs and says T G I F.the man says S H I T. Confused the blonde says let mee explain thank god its friday. Then also confused the man says now its my turn to explain sorry honey its thursday!

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

A policeman approaches her and says, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?”

She says, “Why, officer?”

“Because your breast is hanging out,” he says.

She looks down and says, “OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!”

Submitted by Sherri
Edited by Yisman

A blonde gets into her car, immediately grabs her cell phone and
calls 911.

911: What’s the problem?

Blonde: I just got in my car and I noticed that someone has
stolen the dash board, the steering wheel, the pedals,
everything.

911: Ok, someone will be there in a second.

The blonde hangs up and gets back into her car. A few seconds
later, she calls 911 again.

911, (realizing that that person has called seconds before): Yes?

Blonde, (laughing): Never mind, I was in the backseat!!

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?

A: Gee, are you sure it’s mine?

how do you confuse a blonde…
Put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

How do you confuise a blonde?

You put her in a circle, and you tell her

to find you the penny in the corner.

How does she confuise you?

She tells you she found it.

Q: why did they stop doing the “wave” at BYU?
A: too many blondes were drowning.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

“Are you sure it’s mine?”

Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what?

a blond and a redhead enter an elevator being held for them by a curtious gentleman in a dark business suit. while thanking him for his kind act, they both notice that the man has flakes on his shoulders. the redhead whispers to the blond…’He looks like he could use some head and shoulders’ The blond looks at her friend and replys with a look of bewilderment…’Yes, but how do you give shoulders?’