Category: blondes

There were three woman which were gonna be executed. One was a blonde, one a brunette, and one a redhead.

They were outside all three of them and it was the brunettes turn to be executed. Just as they were aboout to shoot her she pointed behind the executers and yelled TORNADO. The executers looked behind them and the brunette escaped.

Now it was the redheads turn to be executed and just as they were gonna shoot her she pointed behind the executers and yelled TWISTER. The executers looked behind them and the redhead escaped as well.

Finally it was the blondes turn and just about when they were gonna shoot her she pointed behind them and yelled FIRE and they shot her!!

What are the 2 ways Blondes and dogs are the same?

They can both bleed for a week without dying and bury a bone without getting there nose dirty.

a blonde walks into a store and see a TV and thinks i need that TV.so she walks to a salesman and says…

blonde:can i have that TV
sales man: no because your a blonde

so the blonde goes out of the store frustrated and then decides to get a red wig.
she puts it on and walks into the store.and says…

blonde:can i have that TV
sales man:i already said no because your a blonde

so the blonde goes out of the store again frustrated and then decides to get a brown wig.
she puts it on and walks into the store.and says…

blonde:can i have that TV
sales man: for the last time no your a blonde

the blonde is so frustated she realy wants that TV so she asks…

blonde:tell me how you always findout im that blonde who wants that TV?
sales man:Lady thats a Microwave

One day a blonde pulled up to a gas station to get some gas.
When she finished pumping the gas, she realized that she left
the keys in the car. She went inside to get a coat hanger from
the clerk and to pay for the gas. The clerk gave her one and was
even nice enough to straighten it for her. She thanked him and
went back out to her car.

After a while, he decided to go check on her and see how she was
doing. He walked out there and saw her moving the hanger around,
back and forth and up and down just really going at it! He went
aroung the car to the driver’s side to where the girl was and
through the window, he could see another blonde waving and
mouthing, “More to the left!! more to the left!!”

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, ‘We need some four-by-twos.’ The clerk said, ‘You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?’ The man said, ‘I’ll go check,’ and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, ‘Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.’ ‘Alright. How long do you need them?’ The customer paused for a minute and said, ‘I’d better go check.’ After awhile, the customer returned to the office and said, ‘A long time. We’re gonna build a house.’

TWO BLONDES WALKED INTO A BIULDEN.

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.”If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?””I’d have to say the living one.”

Q: Why don’t blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can’t get their head in the jar.

Two sisters inherited the family ranch. Unfortunately, after
just a few years, they were in financial trouble. In order to
keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they needed to
purchase a bull so that they could breed their own stock.

The sister who balanced their checkbook, a brunette, took their
last 600 dollars out west to a ranch where a man had a prize
bull for sale. Upon leaving, she told her blonde sister, “When I
get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to
drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrived at the man’s ranch, inspected the bull, and
decided she did want to buy it. The man told her that he would
sell it for 599 dollars, no less. After paying him, she drove to
the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the
news.

She walked into the telegraph office, and said, “I want to send
a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for
our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explained that he’d be glad to help her,
then added, “It’s just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for
the bull, the brunette only had 1 dollar left. She realized that
she’d only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nodded, and said, “I want
you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.'”

The telegraph operator shook his head. “How is she ever going to
know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck
and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you
send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”

The sister explained, “She’ll read it very slowly:
Come-for-the-bull”

How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?

She has a tampon behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil!

QUESTION: WHY DID THE BLONDE STARE AT THE FROZEN JUICE CONTAINER FOR 2 HOURS?

ANSWER: BECAUSE IT SAID “CONCENTRATE”

Why don’t a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands?

Because the vacuum in her head keeps them in place.